jaslineeeeee~

2010-02-21T14:51:00.002+08:00

i read through all my blog posts. i smiled and shed some tears. i have lots to say, but i've lost them somehow. there's too many random complicated thoughts running through my head.

i'll pray really hard for it to happen. i have faith in you.

this blog is going on hiatus.

may my wish come true

2010-02-04T21:22:00.003+08:00

i received my first birthday gift for the year. it's not from my friends, it's not from my family. it's from Citigems. -.- very nice business tactic. sure got me touched and hyped up for awhile. Citigems is better den anyone else in the world cos it's the first person to make me feel loved! hahahaha! alright that's lame. hah! february is my favourite month of the year. it's the get-fat month where i get to enjoyy Chinese New Year, Valentines' Day and MY BIRTHDAY! FOOD FOOD FOOD AND MORE FATTENING FOOD!!! (my weighing scale's hiding under my bed, too ashamed to reveal itself) i doubt my birthday will be that happening this year since i've lost contact with many many friends. it'll most prolly be a simple affair. AND I HAVE BIRTHDAY OFF in my new jobb! so i'm gonna slack at home and buy a cake and celebrate with the kids! woots!

i'm getting used to work. getting used to the endless meetings and nonsense from the people at work. i'm super sad. cos the gift i intended for dumbdumb is rather screwed up. so i have nothing for him. =((((((((( sian.

someone asked if i'll receive any flowers this valentines' day. i said nope. and den i acted pathetic to the extent they said they'll indent compassionate flowers just for me. argh!

2010-02-02T21:27:00.002+08:00

i'm old.

old enough to think of my future, old enough to earn my own moolahs, old enough to have friends and relatives my age getting married. at some point of time, i'm envious of them. envious that they have their future laid out nicely infront of them. jealous that they have a common goal to look forward to. how nice would it be if life is just that simple. you get married, have kids, watch your kids grow up, enjoy life. but no, we all have aspirations. we all have dreams. and it's cos of these dreams, we stopped ourselves from leading a simple frugal life. we want MORE. yet on the other hand, my cousin, the newly-wed, lost all their freedom. he has to start contributing to his own family AND his extended family. no excuse. but i would say it's the trend in Malaysia to get married at a young age. still, i gave them my most sincere blessings. cos when my parents, aunts and uncles are gone, i still hope to go to Malaysia and acknowledge them as my family. okay, maybe just the few close ones. but that's enough already. haha! =)

my happie family of cousins. the ones on the left actually. the right ones belong to the bride's family. hurhur! the groom's my cousin. we used to run around in my grandma's house. but i doubt they even remember those memories. =)

their wedding was such a huge affair it lasted 2 days. the first day has everyone going for a buffet informal dinner where everyone came together and talk, gossip, give their blessing, look at the bride and groom to be.

the second day was the actual wedding. where weddings can be held anywhere, school halls, restaurants, anywhere! this time round, it looked kinda posh and nice. food was rather disappointing though.

don't ask me why, but we all make it a point to take 2 shots of every picture. haha!

this was worse, me and dexter took 4 shots just to get things perfect the way it should be. he's a lame ass. haha!

you hear the way they gossip, you know you can't win them. they're straight to the point, analytic, critical and detailed. enough to write a perfect argumentative essay. such a waste that they're not journalists or sth. they'll make it big for sure.

my dad was bored. he grabbed a baby and had fun with it. the baby was cute. really cute like a doll with huge eyes and longggg eye lashes. if i have such a baby, sharon and sompong will be spared from the torture of me dumping my baby to them! hurhur! =)

my favourite cousin in malaysia. she's young. very young. i watched her grow up, from a tiny baby to who she is now. =)

see how cute that baby is? a real hunk man!!!

my favourite aunt, the one who plaids my hair in the past for me to go to school during kindergarten to show off to all my friends. we have a lot of similarities. hahaa! =)

i miss you. at times, your absence makes me felt kinda lost. i know i shouldn't depend on you THAT much, but i really can't help it.

2010-01-25T23:01:00.003+08:00

i have a new fringe! and a new phone! though i'm currently kinda regretting it cos there's this possibility that i have to get a blackberry internet service which costs madness and i haven had e chance to explore my phone. and i accidentally deleted some smses of mine. grr. =( but at least it beats my lousy scotch-taped nokia phone. hurhur!=)

my weekend was great. laid back, relaxed and so slack that the lazy bones in me started to get moody when evening falls on sunday. bleah. toured around town with my new fringe on Saturday after getting my phone (was thinking i'm really gettin it on impulse. geex) with the hungry man who turned angry cos i ignored his growling stomach and panicked over my newly acquired device. haha. can't help laughing when i thot of the scene. dinner was great, my date was sweet, laughter was enjoyed, topics were hilarious. what more can i ask for on a lazy saturday afternoon? woots! =)

*someone attempted to ask me to web-cam and see him naked -.-*

ohoh, i thought of wednesday and i'm lookin forward to it suddenly!! yayy! hehehe! =)

i should have taken more pictures! muahahaha!

i'm havingg pimple outbreak nowww. =(

saw this picture in my lappie. i think it's one of my last few days when i was still using my HTC HD2..hurhur. how i miss my work station. =(

us on a sundayyy!! i hearts no working days! =) lalalalalaala..working days make me sleepy and tired. my weak stomach is acting up! have been feeling queasy e whole dayy i wonder why. =(

ohya, date with IAL lovelies changed to thursday. one more day for me to look forward to. thursday come quickly!! =) shihui we must take lotsa pictures alright?? =) muacks!

2010-01-24T23:11:00.003+08:00

it's work again tomorrow. i planned my schedule for the whole of next week and i think i'll tire myself to death. =( nonetheless, i'll still look forward to WEDNESDAY!! yayy..wednesdayy is the dayy i'll meet my IAL lovelies! =) *jumps and skips around* yayyy! please, no more lai lai alright? hurhur.. as i type, i felt nauseous. i ate too much for dinner, even when i shared with my mom. shat.

the things you said made me tear.. your words kept repeating itself in my head and i'll never forget your exact words. thank you for giving me the assurance i'm looking for. =)

2010-01-22T23:58:00.003+08:00

i haven't been blogging much mostly cos i would be dead beat by the time i get home. i think i'm too used to being laid back in my previous perfect job that i've turned into some lazy horrible ass. one week passed just like that. i didn't have the time to really sit down and think. i didn't have the time to do anything. i wasted all my time trying to get used to the life i'm leading now. it wasn't hectic exactly. but i dare say that it's kinda tiring. i kinda miss hanging out with shihui. miss roaming around looking for my 2nd best friend and chatting with the bimbo. hurhur. sometimes i feel lonely without shihui talking lame things to me. tuition seemed like a chore to me. i told them i have to stop tuition soon and they have to get a new tutor but they appeared stiff to my comments. -.- i seriously can't bear to tell their parents that i can't teach any further.

here's something interesting i heard this week:

"u just have to ask that person. do you love her? Does she loves you? Does her mother likes you? that's all that matters!"

i was stumped for words for a minute. i don't know why, but the only response i can give was just a smile and that's all. hurhur. sets me thinking for i-dono-what.

2010-01-15T22:57:00.002+08:00

it's my last day today and i cried.

i said BYEeee the usual way i did like every other day. i had the same response, other than the "see you tomorrow/ see u on Monday". and suddenly, it struck me. everyone smiled widely at me. my tears flowed out. i turned around and said "bye bye bye bye..", trying to escape from the side door the way i always did. but they stopped me in time to notice my tears. "aye, don cry leh.. all the best to you!" and i ran away sobbing "don do that to me! bye bye bye bye...!!" and i cried all the way down e stairs from level 5 to 1 without turning around. luckily, shihui wasn't on time to meet me downstairs. i cleaned myself up and got my eye liner in my eyes. damn.

and while i type, i teared again. damn.

2010-01-13T15:17:00.002+08:00

i came across something hilarious when i'm trying to do my subtitles.

Bird Park. what will you translate that as?

guess what my cute lil brother translated that to?

鸟园

i almost burst out laughing in the office. HAHAHAHAHAAHA! good job. how can i ever entrust him with a job like this? *faints*

2010-01-12T15:34:00.001+08:00

i realised that these pictures have been in my drafts for quite some time. i've got pictures to post but nothing to blog about. i have been having mixed feelings regarding some issues i have been harping on since i dono when. sometimes i get so hyped up cos i felt "useful", that i'm of some assistance to my colleagues or superiors. sometimes i even felt popular (alright, popular might be too strong a word to use. maybe well-liked, i presume. hurhurhur).

on the other hand, sometimes i felt redundant as if the role i'm playing can easily be replaced by any random people. the feeling sucked. i hope i wouldn't regret from next week onwards. even if i do, i have to act as if i'm perfectly fine with my decision. i'll miss my best friend and my 2nd best friend. hahah! tuition sessions have started, making me contemplate if i should continue my kinda tedious schedule. the process of teaching is fine. the students are scarily getting on my nerves with their you-can-never-imagine stunts. i insist on not shifting any sessions to the weekends cos i didn't want to wake up having the dreadful feeling of going for tuition sessions. hah!

hmm. i have nothing much to say and comment about. i'm feeling exhausted and ill every day. it's the time of the month these few days and my energy seemed to have been drained completely. Last Saturday when i was at my colleague's place, i had a ghastly pale look throughout the whole baby shower event. my friends didnt dare come near me or even touch me. alright, maybe i was unfriendly cos i felt too weak to even talk. i felt guilty for going to her baby shower looking all sick and white. during my stay, i think i frequented her toilet more than anyone else and even vomited my stomach acid out. hurhur. didnt eat breakfast you see. the pain was so excruciating i even had an after-effect shadow of pain for the next day.

i thot some exercise might help improve my body system or sth. get my heart pumping and all, maybe it'll help with the blood flow. I DID EXERCISE MORE THAN USUAL (the usual meaning not exercising at all). but whyyy was the pain worse than any other months? i hate this helpless feeling. where i can only lie down and do nothing but groan in pain. so that means i have to take leave every day of the month? so that will mean 12 days of leave per year going to waste and i can't even enjoy them? oh shucks. i better do something about it. -.- D.A.M.N.

i announced that i will be going to Bintan some time ago. but in actual fact. it's not Bintan at all. it's a scam my mom had it all planned. it's some ulu island NEAR bintan. boo. so much for the highly anticipated trip. such a waste. oh come to think of it, sompong you haven't send me the pictures we took for the sherlock holmes movie. SEND ME. -.-

the sea was nice. somehow, i kept recalling myself being at that place before. i forgot when was it. but i seriously find that place really familiar but i can't recall anything. =(

the many hilarious pictures. hah!

i like the last picture the most. it shows how i was being inattentive to what dumbdumb was saying. and the next thing you know, he'll be complaining that i wasn't listening to him and i'll get a earful from him. hurhur!

bowlinggg!!! i can't bowl for nuts. i think i play the pool better than bowling. every single time i bowl, my fingernails will either chip or the whole nail will crack. my fingers will ache and i'll still score the least among everyone else. -.- this is so unfair.

NEW YEAR PARTY!!!! =)

i don't know why. but i have this thing for xin wang these days. the combination of the yuan yang and their toast was superb!! =) but i still insist that the items on the menu are still kinda overpriced. although i always get rebutted. -.- not worth it waddd..

i was exploring the my pictures software functions and i realise they kinda do miracles to pictures that were supposedly ugly. hurhurhur. not fantastic stuff but at least something different from the norm. okie, i was darn bored just now but i still have to act busy.

i almost fell asleep today. =(

my dad used to say i can't smile naturally. i'm starting to pick on my smiles these days. i'm getting to the stage where i'm stripped of all my self confidence. i didn't know when it happened or how it did, but i've been rather conscious about myself these days. darn. it's raining when i have to rush for tuition later. shat.

2010-01-07T17:29:00.001+08:00

waiting for someone is a long and painful process. the wait is so infuriating i can literally cry out now. A.R.G.H.

2010-01-06T22:48:00.002+08:00

it dawned upon me something realistic. something that you've said. perhaps it might come true. i hope not though. okie i'm nitpicking on redundant superficial stuff i shouldn't be so obsessed over.

2010-01-06T11:36:00.001+08:00

the feeling of helplessness when i know how busy you are but here i am at a loss trying to find something to do. dinner with dear pris tonight! =)

2010-01-05T10:55:00.005+08:00

2009 whizzed past me just like that. a brand new year is here where i can predict more tough challenges coming ahead. i'm done with school and am in the complicated and competitive society now. i've learnt how to deal with issues of secrecy and confidentiality. face some annoying people and train myself to stand strong. i'm a noob, and portrayed to be very new and innocent in this society. i was slapped with stuff that i have to handle tactically otherwise i'll get my backside on fire. i'm learning everyday, learning how this world works, learning how this society views people, learning how to blend into the world of confusion. luckily for me, my first stop has very nice people guiding me. things were easier in a way sometimes but difficult when my calling is here. i've enjoyed my stay here, but will soon face a whole new challenge. i'll have to start all over again from scratch. but i should persevere on, and hopefully, things will go on track soon. *cross fingers*

the cliche thing about a brand new year will be resolutions. i have got many, a whole list to be exact. but the usual jasline will still be the all talk no action person. still, i'd like to list them out to remind myself of what i should do.

1. love my family more and treasure time. it'll be less den a decade before we stop living together under a roof. Get along well with my mom and tolerate her crazy nagging no matter how irritating she can get. she's getting old and she's trying to apply for the elderly ezlink card when she doesnt even take public transport. -.-

2. learn as much as i can during work and make up my mind on my future career path.

3. be less lazy and untidy and forgetful and whiny and emo and *okie the list seems to be endless*

4. do something about my weight before the bah kwa and pineapple tarts season come and i go crazy.

5. be a nice and sweet girlfriend

6. meet up as many friends as i can

7. move my fat hamster to a decent hamster house instead of a fish tank

8. earn $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

9. go on holidays when i feel rich

10. lose weight

11. exercise MORE

12. get rid of my belly

13. do something about my monthly cramps and my bleeding, no fingerprints hands

14. be lighter than shihui (okie that's impossible)

15. learn cooking!

16. buy a microwave oven for my house when i feel freaking rich

17. upgrade my wardrobe

okie i shld stop...this is endless.

this is what we do when we have foreigners as boss!! and in december, institutes are closed, bosses are back in their lala-land for holidays, WE ARE LEFT IN THE OFFICE WITH NO RULES! =) thus, the massive gorging of food on the eves of christmas and new year! hurhurhur! =)

the lovelies in office! =)

lunch retreat!!! kbox!!! =)

FOOD!! I SEE FOOD!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

i'm proud to say that i managed to trick my friend into believing that the whipped potato i bought from KFC was prepared by me. hurhurhur! she still called me to ask what's my secret recipe for the sauce of the whipped potato. damn hilarious!

loves from IAL. i'll miss them all. sobs.

2009-12-29T11:42:00.005+08:00

sometimes, the more you pick on someone, the more faults you find. that was one of the reasons why i sometimes fear being to close to people. i keep my distance for a reason, yet at times when i felt alone with no one to confide in, i regret what i have done. yes, i've once distanced myself from a very close grp of friends cos for what reason i am not sure. i remember the weird awkwardness between us that i cannot stand, creating some form of pressure on me. i couldn't accept it and so i decided to take the easy path, i avoided it all e way. i still treasure them as my closest buds emotionally and sees green when i saw how they have enjoyed themselves without me. a part of me hopes to be involved and be together with them but i was reminded, "it's too late". i've accepted the reality and know that i can never join them again. and like what dumbdumb said, "it's actually your fault in the first place.."

date today: 2.JAN.2010.

damn, i blogged the above on the 2nd day of 2009 and it sure was depressing. now that the year has end and this could probably be my first ever post on 2010, i don think it's gonna be that interesting either. and i shld be off doing something important for dumbdumb. so i shld stop blogging now. hurhurhur! =) another time den!

2009-12-26T23:03:00.001+08:00

i'm very depressed all of a sudden! don't ask me why cos i refuse to lament about depressing state during this festive season! =(

2009-12-22T17:07:00.006+08:00

i chanced upon something i shouldn't have been so curious over. i stared at it for a good long time (a serious 10 minutes without a blink of an eye, okay maybe i blinked once or twice) and decided that i shouldn't be so persistent over stuff. it should be a gloomy day today after that mood dampening staring act but since i decorated my face and received compliments, I'M HAPPIE AGAIN!! hahahaa!! i have loads to update. i realised i tried blogging quite a few times but they all failed terribly and the posts were uber short. hah! just came back from bkk and gawd it was tiring but GREAT!! i started off the trip with a huge empty suitcase but came back home with 2 bags! 1 huge and another duffle bag. a bigg smile was plastered on my face while i was on my wayy home as i imagined everyone's face when they see my presents. HAHAHA! =) do note tat i didnt shop for myself. i shopped for like a whole truck of people. that explains the huge trophies i brought home.

yesterday when my mom was done with the washing, i was shocked to see my wardrobe FILLED TO THE BRIM. clothes were spilling out and i couldn't shut the doors tight! =X i need a bigger wardrobe. i'm growing up. sadly my parents don read blogs, otherwise they'd understand my predicament, feel for me and generously get me a bigger wardrobe. =(

it suddenly dawned upon me that my parents are superb ones. my dad is all nice and entertaining towards me without fail and kinda pamper me sometimes even. my mom, though she's naggy and irritating, i was amazed at her washing clothes skills when she managed to clear a heap of clothes within 2 days in the laundry basket while she keeps complaining and complaining. pro right? haha! i love my parents, though sometimes they do get on my nerves, they never fail to back me up me when i'm feeling vexed or unloved. dexter the monkey is always full of shit but very amusing. he may be uber useless but still, he's my innocent baby brother!! qiangqiang the pig is always full of stunts. he just bought this ball catching gadget which i thot was very redundant but still very fun to play with. he's the gadget king and i would always consult him for my phones, laptops, whatever stuff.

I LOVE MY FAMILY!!!!

here's alot alot pictures of my whereabouts! =)

the classic trip to orchard for the pretty christmas lightings! yes, i whined and whined cos i HAVE TO take pictures there by hook or by crook. hurhur! and dumbdumb became my target but he's sweet enough to bring me there without any complains! hehe!

if i remember correctly, the shopping was expensive cos i bought my christmas gift for him on the spot! hahaha! =) okie i shld give him some credit for the nice gift he got me as well. i love it!! hurhur!

and and, i went on my virgin roller blading trip! hahaha! yes, the fat and clumsy me had real difficulties trying to even stand up straight. AND I GOT RIDICULED AT BY KIDS WHO CAN BLADE!!! =(( it was soooo embarrassing and dumbdumb has to keep emphasising it all e wayy home!

"hey don stand by the railing, got people wanna use lah.." --> stoopid kid announced it loudly and gave me that kinda you-are-weak look. and there's this kid who kept giving me the smug face! -.- idiot right?!?

i just realised i'm the only one left in research services. how great is that. sigh, times like this are rare. i only have like a month left before i leave this heavenly place. =(( let's hope for the better i guess. kinda sad to leave since i'm close to the people around here. things shouldn't have been delayed that long cos i have started to develop feelings towards the people here..and it'll be even harder to leave. sighs. and since i'm such a lovable person, i've made close friends with people like shihui (stop puking) and many others. a memorable experience indeed. this is definitely the environment i would choose to work in in future. geex.

this is so random. never mind, MORE PICTURES! hahaha! =)

and and, went out with the PRs for a binge drinking session just to force some confession out of a drunkard who insisted that he did not keep any secret. HAHAHA! as if we will believe. we succeeded eventually, but the sacrifice was really scary. the damage was 300 over bucks of drinks and pizza at timbre. SCARYY indeed! and there's even work the next day! i wonder how i survive the next day. oh! that'll be the story of tommy the turkey. haha! i'll update that in the next post. heehee! =)

sharon and sompong looks cute here! HEEHEE! =)

and finally, a happie group picture! =)

to emphasise on how much rubbish i bought during my trip to bkk, here's the evidence! actually after a closer look at all the stuff laid out, i realised i really didnt buy alot! -.- wasted. hahaha!

the nicest pic i can find from the bkk list of pictures! =)

and here's a collage for my desktop at work! nice right? =)

2009-12-09T20:51:00.002+08:00

to my dearest dilys bimbo heng:

read happily and go study quickly
mug hard and stop slacking!
jiayou for your exams and may you S.C.O.R.E!!! =)

see i dedicated this post specially for you! muacks!

to my dearest sharon bimbo tan:

read happily and shop crazily!!
shop hard and don spend all your moolahs!
have a safe trip and remember to buy me gifts!!!!

in case you say i don love you as well, here's another post for you!!!! hugs!

2009-12-09T15:37:00.007+08:00

work's getting dull these days cos the researchers are back in their homeland. we're left here alone in the office with nothing much to do. it's the holidays season when people celebrate and chill and go home to enjoy the merry season with their families. a result of that will be no seminars, no events, no whatsoever. =( and time passes REALLY slow.

i stayed especially long in the cubicle just now staring into space and came to realise something. cubicles do wonders. that small little space belongs to you once you entered it. u can do anything inside: shit, pee, sleep, stone (like me), make up (like me as well cos i don really have the guts to stand in front of the huge mirror in toilets and start drawing on my face while people walk in and out), or basically just do nothing and waste time. sometimes, it's just the personal space you need where you can be away from everyone. the cubicle's like a hideout for me, i mentioned to sharon before that i used to pray to anyone or anything in my home's toilet when i lost something "precious" to me. i've cried in locked cubicles or the toilet at home. i've slept and did everything i could to waste time in the office cubicle when i'm bored. hurhur. i know i'm weird, coming up with such things. but like shihui, my new found best friend at work, i'm boreeeddd...hahaha! =)

it's gonna be Crystal's last day soon and she brought along her camera to camwhore with us all. hurhurhur! i have been shunning the camera these days cos of my sickly appearance and swollen pale self cos i haven't been dieting and have been hiding in the shades for centuries. i shld get some tanning soon. i'm so troubled when i realised that the foundation Eva got for me previously can actually blend in well with my face nowww!!! that foundation is like 2 tones lighter den my previous skin tone cann!!! =((( i don wanna be pale looking! =(

and we played peek-a-boo in our office sickbay. yes, we have a tiny sickbay where you can rest inside. but den again, who will?? hahahaha! =)

Sunday was the day my mom planned for us to go for this duck-tour half-day event. it was b.o.r.i.n.g. other den the fact that isaac and dumbdumb were there to entertain me, i was sooo bored i actually fell asleep during the duck tour itself. hahaha! oh, and we went to the Peranakan Museum. yes, and it spells boring as well. =(

he refused to take pictures throughout the trip, but the very smart photographer managed to catch some perfect shots of him. hurhurhur! =)

and here's what stupid people will do when they are bored. they act dumb. hahahahah! =)

i totally regretted carrying that bag when i'm camwhoring...i look like some weird turtle. -.-

05.dec.2009 marks a special day. it's awesome that you can stand strong to all my whining, my moodiness, my frequent tantrum throwings, my super ultra fluctuating mood and all the various rubbish for these 3 years. there were no doubt rough patches at times, but we did pull through them, laughed and use these incidents to spike each other (like you always used to!). it's weird how often you can make me smile when others can't. it's strange how you always know what i am thinking and what i will be doing next even when i purposely kept it from you. you gave me the support i need to pull through difficult times, the many comforting words i get from you when i felt helpless. the numerous times of giving in to my wants (or rather whines) when i want things my way even though i'm clearly unreasonable. thank you, dumbdumb! =)

=( i just received a call from daddy honey that i have to squeeze in the train today! =(

happie reading shihui! =)

2009-12-03T08:30:00.002+08:00

i haven't felt this desperate before. haven't felt this lost before. i believe i once gave you such feeling (or so i thought) and now i got it all back from you. i term it retribution, karma, whatever it is. the feeling sucked.

reminiscing in that fateful hug of assurance

i really can't fight back whatever i had done,
i know i'm giving you immense stress but trust me, i really don't mean it.

2009-12-02T17:27:00.001+08:00

finally, i've made the decision (i hope i'm right about this) and have taken a huge load off my mind. actually, i didn't make the decision formally. i just followed the flow of things. did what i had to do and eventually came to where i was. i was in a pensive mood yesterday and today. i talked only during lunch. i kept stealing glances at my manager to watch out for anything out of sorts. she's a great boss, so great that i don't think there's anyone who will be as nice as her (as a boss i mean. maybe as a friend as well). but wells, i've made my stand rather clear so. i'll just have to bear with that emotional stress i'm creating myself before everything is over.

damn. i so wanted to take leave from work tomorrow cos i don't want anyone to stare at my bloody dry lips that i think is diseased now. but there's this rather important meeting tomorrow that i have to attend with my prof which is the reason why i'm not jumping around exclaiming that i'm taking leave..i guess i can only wait for it to swell before i tk leave on friday. =(

sompong yap, you win. i'm really having fat sausage lips now. and they're specifically taiwanese sausages...ahhhhhh!!!

2009-11-29T10:09:00.005+08:00

for once, reality has struck me hard that i'm not an independent creature at all. i adore company, i can't help being lonely. i hate to be excluded, even if i know i might exclude myself sometimes. and i dread doing things alone. dumbdumb spent his holidays at Genting and i managed to get through this long weekend with the help of sharon and dil. hurhur! they were very entertaining and patient with my whinings on facebook. of course, i bought stuff online to cheer myself up. (i sound exactly like dilys heng. shat)

thanks girls, for those who left sweet comments on my tagboard. my flu got better after popping panadol cold relief like 4 times a day. thanks clara, i stalk ur blog as well. hahahaha! =) i had a lazy Saturday with my parents. it was time worth spending cos we toured around Singapore going to weird deserted places, trying the local famous eating places and did practically nothing but waste time. hurhurhur. it's the Christmas season and i've yet to make a trip down to Orchard Road to take pictures. SOMEONE DATE ME OUT TO TAKE PICTURES PLEASEEEE!!! hehehe! anyways, my running regime failed. i forgot when's the last time i ran but i definitely remember when's the last time i felt my stomach got so bloated it almost burst. hahha!

this was last wkend when we decided to bring the kids out to play. hurhurhur! =)

ivan wasn't driving at all. hahahaa! but he thought he was. he's smart enough to realise it only awhile later.

went out with my colleagues on friday to the most dreaded Sitex. hurhurhur. never ever gonna go to such IT fairs anymore! it was packed and we were all squeezed like sardines! had a great chat with my junior (the one on the extreme right, yes she has that nanhua face right!!! and i'm so sad she says she don't know of my existence when we studied in the same school for a year!) on the loong wayy back home and she showed me how to do a rose-tulip-dono-what-flower out of paper. haha!

i forgot the road name for this place but it looked like some kinda squatters. dad loved that place and was so excited when he found the chance to go there. was tempted to take pictures of those uncles selling stuff there but decided against it cos they were all grumbling and complaining about life. the whole stretch of uncles were lamenting that their life sucks, they hate the government blablablah. i wondered how their families are like. i doubt all their families are as poor as they looked cos i'm sure some of these old people are sitting along the roads just for the sake of companion.

i'm so happie Pris is back with my cleanser!! yayyy!! =) and i'm gonna meet her on wednesday to get my stuff + many more goodies! hahahaha! it's monday AGAIN tomorrow..sians. gotta go back to work alr..yawns. i'm glad that in dec, all my researchers are not gonna be in town which means that i'm free! =) yayyys!

2009-11-27T22:53:00.002+08:00

i've been popping panadol cold relief religiously. but it doesn't seem to have effect on me anymore. =( my flu didn't get worse nor did it gets better. i don want to see a doctor for this damn flu. =(

i miss youuu!

2009-11-25T08:47:00.004+08:00

it's a bad bad wednesday. =(

things got wayy wrong since last night. my flu flooded my puny brain with mucus. so much to the extent that i had a throbbing headache and couldn't go to sleep in peace. i attempted to sleep early due to my worsening flu but the attempt failed big time. so i crawled outta bed to get myself some pills for my flu. and i think the drowsy pill knocked me out instantly. the next moment i opened my eyes, my eyes were so puffy i could feel my eyeball popping out and i had to have a wardrobe malfunction in the morning. =(

i thot things will at least get better.. but luck's never on my side. there's a lorry-truck accident causing a jam on clementi road and i was -.- all e wayy to work. i hate pedestrains who walk slowly on zebra crossings/ didn't know if they should or should not cross/ walking forward and backwards for no reason cautiously and therefore causing me to stomp on the emergency break = my dad nagging relentlessly beside me about being a careless driver and definitely not a safe one. -.-

the WORST thing was (bad things just love to come all at the same time), i broke my nail when i tried to open a locked cupboard. the whole white part of the nail got chipped off and i have a very short nail now. i hate extremely short nails cos they make my fingers itch. =( if you think i'm not unlucky enough, i received a mail saying that they could not download some files i uploaded on the website. SO I HAD TO MANUALLY SEND THEM HUGE FILES OF SCANNED APPLICATIONS VIA EMAIL and my office mail system sucks big time. =( everyday, i will hear complaints about the mail and intranet. it trains a person to be patient but sometimes patient people can run out of patience and slams tables you see. argh!

we'll see if the bad luck will track me down for the rest of the day. sadly, i think it will. =( anyways, GOOD LUCK to those who are having their examsss!! sompong, i remind you to tell me about KIV if you feel that you wun score for ur exams. by telling me about KIV, you are actually doing a very GOOD deed and thus, YOU CAN SCORE FOR YOUR EXAMS!!! =) good idea right, maybe you can try it to see if you can score. hahaha! i bet you will loh..=) lalalalalaa...

i'm goinggg to eat Roti Prata TONIGHT!!! yayyy..!! =)

*happies*

damn, i sneezed so hard my mucus gushed out. yucks!

2009-11-23T23:21:00.002+08:00

i can't help but admit i'm clumsy and accident prone. i think sooner or later, my kneecaps are going to collapse and give up on me. i was watching the movie MULAN and tearing away cos of those touching scenes. i hate war movies. there's bound to be scenes where someone's beloved got stabbed by either an arrow or a sword. and den they will start reading out those touching poems with watery eyes like ".... .... .... ...." (alright, i tried to recall something from the movie but it's too tough for me. i guess i'll need lingxin's help over here, HAHAHAHAHA). since i was busy e whole day with the masters programme applications, i had no time for toilet. so i had to have the nature call in the middle of the movie. and when i'm back, i missed a step and tripped over i-donno-what. luckily, i managed to "hug" dexter. but still, i created a mini scene where everyone "OH" at my predicament. =(

and thus, i got a new pet name: dumbo. -.- very nice.

2009-11-22T20:50:00.001+08:00

i am so sad now..=(

i feel unloved! the top i like confirmed that there's no backorders! =(

and worst of all, there's work tomorrow! =((

2009-11-22T17:45:00.006+08:00

sometimes i look at you and i wonder if i will grow up to be like you. i know i most probably would but i wished my future self will prove me wrong. we hold this love-hate relationship that i can't help but feel upset over it. i'm a soft-hearted person who emphasises on family ties, friendship and relationships with one another. i can't bring myself to hate you for more than a day but sometimes, i feel so angry i think i can kill. i'm secretly comforted that i live in a good and healthy environment. if i were to be brought up by some psychotic parents who drink or gamble, i think i would have murdered everyone in my family and commit suicide. yes, i think my innate self is mentally unstable. i'm prone to many sorts of psychotic disorders.

if i have the courage, i'll walk away without turning back
if i have the backbone, i'll ignore you forever and not come back for you
if i have the audacity, i'll leave you without thinking of the consequences
if i have the nerve, i'll take up the offer to study abroad and start afresh

but i'm a timid, useless coward who can never make up her mind.

i really enjoyed the simple dinner with the grp of (h)bimbos the many little things that happened and made me smile when i'm reminded of them. it's been quite some time since i laughed heartily. *burst out laughing* from the lack of my posts, it's quite obvious that my life is very much mundane and of no interest that i can't pen them down. priscilla's having her time holiday-ing in Korea while i'm stoning in front of my lappie trying to find something to blog about. i guess i can only wait for her to come back with my multi purpose cleanser!

quote from my brother's msn nick: my.life.is.such.a.bore --> so so applicable to mine as well! =(

i'm trying to lose weight now. someone buy me a weighing machine to remind me that i'm as heavy as a pregnant lady.. hahhaa! =)

2009-11-15T01:01:00.003+08:00

i just watched the movie 2012 and got myself thinking about what i should do if i'm left with 10 days before the world crashes down on me. who will i wanna meet up with? what will i do? i haven't been socially active these few months and things have gotten kinda boring when i'm alone dong basically nothing but stoning. my research workshop has finally ended (thank god) and work's resumed now that all the events are over successfully. that research workshop reminded me of my university days when i would sit in lessons and try as hell to understand what the lecturers were saying. fortunately for me, the things the trainer said do make sense. but at the back of my head, i know my dad's CPF money has gone to waste cos i have practically forgotten all the things i've learnt during my research and statistics class. -.-

i read dil's blog and realised we have something in common. similarly for me, i spy random people's blog as well and secretly admire them for the glowing skin they have, the wonderful life they are living and the superb friends they have with them. somehow it makes me wallow in my own depressing self. i didn't think anything can perk or cheer me up. i've lost my self confidence and motivation to do anything. i know it's time i wake up to do something about it but there's just no kick in me. nothing for me to look forward to. i'm just living life as days pass. come to think of it, i enjoy rotting and slacking. (and such realisation sucks, big time). i can't help but think of how i will be in 5 years time, 10 years time and so on. i look at my colleagues around me and tried portraying myself in their shoes. kept asking myself questions if i'll turn out to be like her, like her or like her? i know i should lead my life as someone i'm supposed to be but not follow some other random people's footsteps. dumbdumb says i have this big time identity crisis. i still do not know who i wan to be or rather who i am. and damn, i think it's really true. -.-

there are certain things i have stopped doing since a very long time ago. i stopped going online in the middle of the night to find people to talk for entertainment. i find it tiring actually. i've stopped listening to my mp3 and indulge in the loud music that soothes me. i've stopped thinking when's my next shopping trip to orchard road or blahblabla. on the other hand, i've cultivated new very unhealthy "habits". i read my book on my bed and go straight to sleep when i'm tired. the only thing i indulge in is food and i'm still enjoying it very much (THIS HAS TO STOP). i sit and stare into space or the walls for hours thinking of random and abstract things.

it's time to move on. enjoy my life while i'm still young. and find the "kick" in me. =)

2009-11-10T23:33:00.001+08:00

i wanted to embark on a long post. on my whereabouts and everything that happened to me. but i'm so lazy i couldnt even crawl outta bed to go bathe after a long day of work and eating. =) but i kept remembering what sharon said and decided i should do sth instead of nua-ing. hahaha! so i decided to just post a picture of what happened during the symposium.

in summary, i ate so much i gained 2kg in 2 weeks. under the influence of good pan pacific full day course of food, the stealing of tea sachets, the hilarious crazy laughings, the running around, the short and almost redundant public speaking, the smiling and entertaining of delegates, the going ga-ga over my new idol Dr. Chan Lee, i became so clumsy and fat. =(

2009-11-04T21:17:00.004+08:00

the interesting thing about my job is that i can go to places simply by flagging a cab, get some sleep inside or read a book and never for once worry about the ticking-so-quickly meters (yes, there're two meters ticking away) even when it is the peak hour. the most interesting thing is if i realised that it is raining outside, i use my fingers to dial some numbers and i will be instructed to go down to my office lobby and have a cab waiting for me. cool right?? hehehehe! =) the symposium is here and i'm the liaison officer for one of the speakers. i'm supposed to welcome my guest to singapore and make her feel comfortable, which explains my trip to the airport. i spent more den 50 bucks in just 2 cab trips and i guess that's the most i will ever ever afford to take for a cab trip. i know this big hoohaa over the cab thinggy is kinda crazy. but usually, the stingy me will not hail a cab unless i'm really tired or late cos i'd rather save the money..haha! the symposium is held in Pan Pacific Hotel and naturally, the guests will be staying there.

when i sent my guests up their hotel room, i wished i was a tour guide for a minute. hahaa! i kinda enjoyed seeing the delighted look on the guests face when they know they can count on me in a foreign country. that feelin was WOW! and Pan Pac is greeaaatt! very prettyyyy definitely. it's not like any other hotels that i went to. maybe it's the weird timing when i reached there. cos the whole place was kinda empty without the clattering of those noisy excited tourists. love the ambiance. hahaha! =) i wanna get married in that kinda hotel!!! how i wish i can just check into any of the rooms and switch on the air-condition and just chill...sigh...

went for the checkup for my heart FINALLY. there's nothing seriously wrong with me. just a mild issue that will not impose any life threatening problems to me even in future. stupid doc at the first medical screening. -.- i had to wait for 3 months for this bloody checkup. the paranoid me did some research before i went for the checkup cos seriously speaking, i was almost freaking out. the reason why i started running was also due to this checkup. i didn't want to be sick. to be really really sick. but still, i'll have to wait for my results next week and den face some challenging problems i have to face with.

2009-11-01T16:10:00.001+08:00

i enjoyed my leave staying home and taking care of the rascals last friday. finally completed part of dad's assignment and managed to lug books back from the library. last friday was the 2 years death anniversary for my grandma. i still remembered the time i received news from my dad that my grandma passed away and everyone was supposed to gather at her house for the funeral. i skipped lecture and my project meeting, took a cab to my grandma house and was the first few to arrive to see the caretaker setting up everything. time flies, i was once a noob in NUS, den a senior, and now i'm a fresh grad with a few pathetic months of work experience. sometimes i fear what will happen in the future. what will become of me? who will i be? i don't have a particular dream cos my dream sounds rather far-fetched. well, a dream is still something we indulge in and keep us going so why can't i have dreams? hurhur.. at least i have my aspirations and goals to look forward to. many goals i fear i might not be able to accomplish them all. i didn't dare think i might not succeed in achieving my goals cos i'll feel like a pathetic loser. i'm comfortable thinking i'll take things a step at a time and slowly move towards my goal. i was always reminded by this fake fortune teller that i have to work doubly hard in order to reap wad i've sowed.

coincidently unlucky - something that'll always happen to remind me of my sway-ness. i decided i should wait for another 2 weeks before the verdict so i'll make a wiser decision on the choice of phone to get + my new phone plan WITH UNLIMITED SMS. but my pretty posh diamond crashed on me again (and it's smirking beside me cos the warrenty is so damn freaking over). i think it knows, it has been in my hands for months and it's becoming telepathic with me. that's why it crashed on me first before i even tried to abandon it. smart move, stupid phone. now i'm left with my pathetic, no very great (in case it throws its tantrum again) nokia titatium phone. i'm stuck with it for 2 weeks and the value for my other sim card has been depleted. damn.

i haven't been taking pictures lately. cos i haven't attended any gathering and my live revolves around work + coming home to playing wii with isaac & ivan. but also that i've gained much much much much weight due to the intensive get fat session and someone face's is LUP SUP! hahahaha..i wanted to take a picture of my IAL peeps cos i've made real nice friends with the people there. but my rude lil brother took my goldie without permission and i was left without anything for the happy hour my team is organising. haha! i do have some unglam pictures of myself with the people there during a "farewell" for one of my friends.

my head looks distorted. -.- see the pregnant lady? I'M AS HEAVY AS HER!!!!! ahhhhhhhhh i wanna dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but instead of a baby, i have a lump of oil and fats!!! =(((( damn sad damn sad.

people in IAL are slim tiny young people. and they all eat ALOT. -.- we go for good food and 2 hours lunch frequently. damn!

the baby in the tummy's name is called Vera! and i think it sounds like aloe vera and was the ONLY one who's strongly against that name! =.= but the thing is i can't find a better name for the baby. maybe she shld name the baby JASLINE. hahaha! jasline is a nice name ain't it?

ghost of past girlfriends: love is just something magical for the poor and uneducated --> i like this statement. woots.

i miss my friends. i miss going out to enjoy life. i'm getting tired of my mundane life. but i'm lazy, contradicting and weird. and it all points down to one reason. my period is declaring its arrival. i can imagine the shock on sharon's and dd's face. and den the rolling of eyes. i read from somewhere the only cure to painful menstrual cramps is to get pregnant and give birth to a baby.. but no one wants me...=(((

2009-10-29T12:13:00.001+08:00

i met a very intriguing person.

he's a British and he hums "dee, dee, dee~" every day whenever he's bored. he's a happie man - the glow on his face is so evident that he's practically burning in it. he has such a happie and successful family i'm really envious for a minute. his voice is so loud it booms in the whole office when he starts speaking and he calls everyone "wonderwoman". he saw my dad sending me to work and he excitedly wanted to shake hands with my dad. he's such an interesting character i can't help laughing whenever he says sth silly. the people here are hilarious seriously.

a few days ago, someone mentioned that i have been living in a world of my own and i seemed to enjoy it. =( it sets me thinking if i really am doing that. i wanted to prove him wrong, but sadly i have no justification for myself. sighs. i don't know what i should do about it.

this is such a random post. goodness. i can't believe i'm THAT random..-.-

2009-10-28T15:00:00.004+08:00

once again, i've changed my blogskin. not because i was bored. but i can't really stand the clicking around if i have to get to my tagboard, entries whatsoever. i have quite a bit to update, but the lazybones spirit has gotten so much into me i haven't convinced myself to commit to some time where i would sit infront of the laptop and type yet another post. getting rather tied up at work but i'm glad that i have more things to do. beats sitting around in the office doing nothing. (hor shihui? muahahahaha) i chanced upon my junior from NHSS at my workplace. she was only in secondary 1 when i'm taking my O'Levels. how amazingly tiny the world is. hurhurhur!

it was qiangqiang's bday on the 24th and we celebrated his bday over steamboat!muahaha! grandpa came along as well and as usual, everyone felt bloated right after the sumptuous meal. the thought of it makes me feel so full i'm feeling sleepy. -.-

everyone hates dexter hair but he still refuses to cut them off. i guess it's just a matter of time before he gets his usual non-freak hair back.sigh, i think i'm not gonna eat so much during lunch time cos the feeling of sleepiness is unbearable after a heavy meal. =(

i'm so sleepy i can't continue blogging any further otherwise i will seriously start nodding off at my desk.

it's a date with dumbdumb on saturday before qiang's birthday-steamboat dinner! not much pictures were taken though..=(

the adult symposium is coming along and everyone is busy with it. the worst thing is that i have to present a small part of the symposium but i have no time to rehearse it with my researcher due to my doctor's appointment. =( the good thing about it is that i can get to work off-site cos i'll be busy entertaining the guests from UK when they start flying in! yayy! my seat is getting warm i wonder why...

i so do not have any mood to blog. =( guess shihui will be disappointed! hurhur..

congrats to dil!!! =) muacks!

2009-10-19T23:57:00.004+08:00

the fact that online clothes seem tight on me has been getting on my nerves. it caused me to stop clicking on livejournal websites and made me a very depressing person. and the very fact that i fell asleep on the couch instead of hitting the gym has made me hysterical. life's pretty much boring with work and nothing else. but i got myself 2 sumptuous lunch treats last thurs and friday cos it's e researchers last day! hurhur. i had my first ever vegetarian meal (cos the host is a vegetarian) and for the past 22 years in my life, this is the first time i ate everything that had no meat in it. WOW!! furthermore, the lunch treat was in crystal jade which made things even more WOW.. maybe i exaggerated things a little, cos i actually minced meat noodles. for myself BUT, the rest of the dishes were vegetarian! hurhurhur. and i ate them cos e host just can't stop putting things on my plate. hurhurhur!

yayy! i'm goingg out on friday with friends frm work and meetin up with bhimbos! i guess that thing alone is enuff to keep me motivated to work. but as i typed, sharon just informed me that e pretty lil bimbo dil forgot about our date (like me) this friday. i can only meet them after dinner, and she can't make it at all!!! sobsobsss. i think sharon's going crazy, first the idiot me thought that the meetup is next week so she happily agreed to go out with friends frm work. den another bimbo totally forgot about it as well. hahaha.. that's psychic huh. heehee! =)

2009-10-12T21:52:00.004+08:00

few days ago, i went out with xuezhen on mission to catch up with each other and have some good food + relaxed time. i realised my life now only revolves around work, tuition, home and nothing else. sounds really really boring but the most comforting thing is that my tuition will be ending soon, like in 2 more sessions, i'll be done with tuition for the rest of the year. *double claps*. i'm not sure if i shld just give up tuition for the rest of my working life but i'm really used to receiving cold hard cash from parents every month. the kind of feeling really beats seeing the amount in your bank account increase (cos it usually decreases right after the increase). it's like i have many sugar mummys giving my pocket money (more like hard earned money). but still, shall see what comes next. so, xuezhen was one of my fave sec sch friend and we talked non-stop for hours while eating and ice cream-ing. we've lost contact for months and the feeling of sharing with a closed one what happened around you was superb. =) come to think of it, i don remember hearing much from her. i seem to be the irritating one yakking away all the while. hurhur. no matter what, if you have something to share, feel free to call/ sms me! =) muacks!

i don't know why but we just didnt take that many pictures that night. =( i wanted to, maybe we were too engrossed in our conversation. hurhur! =)

i went butter factory with dumbdumb and his sister. loved the decorations there but the place is a tad too tiny. luckily when we were there, the crowd wasn't freaky and we had reserved seats to keep my bruised knees comfortable! =)

i think he's starting to be a camwhore like me. =) love taking pictures with youuuu!

it was mid-autumn festival, and we brought the kids out to chinese garden. there wasn't any hello kitty or disney event going on so the park was dark and gloomy with bangla couples strolling in the park and joggers what nots. totally no festive atmosphere..=(

another mid-autumn festival with bhimbos. i'm their new member. hurhur. a very long time since i last talked to weizhe as well. he's still the same old dude, quiet, doesn't comment. but once he opens his mouth, his words are deadly and hilarious. haha. unlike that big mouth below who has a unique laughter. =0 love you guys! =0

now that tuition is about to end, i have no more excuses not go to the gym. i am feeling really depressed that clothes i bought online seemed tight on me. =( it's a warning sign. i hope it's enough to motivate me to move my ass to the gym that i always commented was very nice. geex. i feel like going on a long holiday..hearing cuzzie christie going to france makes me really jealous!!! =(( and thank you for helping me buy that bag!!hahahahaa..love it! though it's kinda huge, but still, i love HUGE BAGS!! hhahahaha!

quote: i love the way you dry my hair at night.

2009-10-02T22:09:00.001+08:00

i hate my cbox..i think you are supposed to type whatever you want and just press ENTER and den forget about it even if it doesn't feedback that the tag has already been received. -.-

i think ppl will be so mad at my tagboard they wouldn't tag anymoreee! =((

2009-09-30T15:20:00.002+08:00

it was another meetup/ ketchup session with my dearest meimei from the olden days of secondary school. hehe! =) she hasn't changed much, still the same old playmate i used to smack or laugh together with. hehe! we haven't been VERY healthy and have been around hunting for good food/ good place to shop..but mainly, we've been gossiping, catching up on each others' life, which is good! i love catching up with friends. was chatting with vivian and i thot i haven talked to her nor xuezhen for eons! xuezhen!! it's your midsem test period now huh? jiayouuuu and all e best to your exams!! gogogo! =)

deserts after our dinner! DURIAN + mango ice!! coooll! =)

i'm still waiting for my manager to come back from her meeting to help me figure out how i should go about claiming my very expensive taxi fare. -.- sighh..i hope she hasn't claim hers so i can add my share onto hers. hurhurhur!

meeting up with the bhimbos tonite! but my eyes are closing closingg to the extent that i'm certain i can slp through phobia! hahaha. i'll see if i can drag myself outta my bed tonite for that movie..muahahha!

dilys heng, you are LOVED by meeee!! take care of your extracted wisdom teeth!! eww, you have no more wisdom anymore!! u can be the head of e bimbo pack! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

2009-09-28T10:10:00.003+08:00

i came across sth really interesting by my lil brother. hold ur laughter.

Mooncake Festival. = 月饼节

how apt. MUAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!! he has such humour i almost laughed out LOUD in my office.

2009-09-27T01:20:00.002+08:00

I’m in such an agitated state I don’t think I can think straight. 3 years of friendship gone down the drain – as quoted by someone. i do know what you’ve been up to, I do know what you’ve told others about me. But I’ve chose to have that hint of trust and faith in you. You have disappointed me, angered me, BETRAYED me. Many times I have entrusted you with secrets, DEEP secrets for f*cking sake u dismissed them like some other everyday gossip you hear from people. It’s hurtful cos I bloody trusted you and you know it yourself. but I seriously have no idea why it makes you high or for whatever reason must you tell whatever I told you to someone else. Hello, those are not everyday trivial things. Those things affected me like hell they did but to you, it appears to me that they’re just a piece of JUICY news from jasline ang. You weren’t like this in the past, you changed for the extreme worst I can ever imagine. I do not expect you to be sweet nice and all, but you definitely need not be the one who tattle tales, twist facts stuff to any Tom, Dick or Harry (literally Tom, Dick or Harry) about me. I tried forgiving you when I know of those little things you’ve done (alright, maybe NOT so little cos i doubt anyone can tolerate such actions). But the more I know what inhuman (to me) deeds you’ve done, the more disgusted I am. We labeled each other as best friends and all, I LOOKED UPON you as my best friend. But what about you? The things I found out were different from what I expected from you! Your impression of me was portrayed as negative as anyone can ever imagine.

I shed tears when I know of your betrayal, my eyes widened as I get to know more hideous stuff, I got so angry my head hurts the more ugly truthful things I came to know about you. I’m sorry to tell you this but I really regretted knowing you, regretted confiding in you, regretted spending so much time and effort on you, regretted announcing to everyone proudly that I have you, regretted depending on you, regretted doing everything and anything I have done with you. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’m sorry at all.

Yes, I’m pissed off with you. If you still have some decency to do the right thing and attempt to be a saint, stop what you are doing. Stop being such a fake before things turn fugly for yourself. I haven’t had much luck with friendship but the one I shared with you was really a disastrous one. I wish you all the best in your future endeavors cos you no longer exist in my life. a word of advice: continue doing what you’re doing, you’ll end up with nothing. N.o.t.h.i.n.g. if you choose to interpret things your way (the wrong way), den fine, remain your pathetic self cos there’s nothing I can do and I won’t ever give a damn about it, not anymore.

2009-09-27T01:13:00.003+08:00

Goodbye, ~~my friend.~~

2009-09-25T11:04:00.004+08:00

it's fridayyy!! and i've finished what i'm supposed to do! lalalala! =) so here i am, cheering myself up even more by blogging about happie stuff! i haven't smiled for real for the past week cos of my very irritating refusing to bleed uterus, causing some unbalanced raging hormones inside me thus i was rather crazy + emotionally unstable + bitchy + ultra sensitive over tiny issues = ultimate idiot bitch. muahahaha!

sorry to those whom i offended, sorry to dumbdumb whom i know i must have almost drove you to your grave. geex. i realised i'm a very difficult person to hang out with. think i need some pills that can help get rid of some hormones in me, den i'll be mentally stable. hurhurhur. but still, i am grateful i still have people whom i know i can trust to be there for me whenever i need support. thank you. =)

let me tell you all a story...

one night, four crazy drunkards decided to meet for drink with absolutely no idea where and what to drink. they just WANT TO drink. it was a rather last minute session but still, the four drunkards managed to meet at ORchard Ion late at night.

the laughter began the moment J sees SH & SP (figure out who they are). SP was delighted to have J join them cos finally, he can be freed from the demeaning act by SH and D. J is such an angel to take up that role ain't she? of course, SP grabbed the chance by joinin SH and D in the attacking of J leaving J with lots of question marks on her head. they walked out of IOn and saw 2 lil girls posing for pictures. J dared SP to pose the exact pose as the lil girls and SP laughed out loud thinking it's wayy too easy for him.

so the picture turned out terrible like this:

and the drinking began in a noisy and loud ear-deafening pub with horrible singing.

and the cam-whoring act naturally came into place.

it was when things started to get boring... the pinkie game began. when J flashed her pinkie, SP was SHOCKED and EXCLAIMED "YOUR PINKIE IS SOOOO TINY!!" and he started his hyena laughing. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
so he took pictures as evidence of the tiny short and stout fingers.

when everyone lost interest in the pinkie game.

J suggested having her tiny fist fit into SP huge (i repeat HUGE) mouth. things turned ugly...
everyone burst out in laughter and went home giggling.

the end.

p.s: J wasn't drunk.

presenting to you: the 3 bimbos. =)

2009-09-23T14:55:00.002+08:00

i went to a funeral the day before. someone whom i don know personally but is my distant relative has passed away peacefully i heard. i came to know of this horrible truth that my grandpa is the oldest among his siblings now that his brother is gone. i guess with no doubt, it meant sth hurtful as well. my dad joined in the chitchat and everyone only remembered him as the one who did the funny/bad things when he was still a boy. i sat there, quiet and smiling as my aunt introduced me to everyone. i imagined my dad to be just a boy, running around making a scene. now with a huge tummy and a head full of white hair, he's getting old he couldn't even shop the whole day (dawn till dusk) with us like we used to.. sigh. that's life.

i had a boring holiday if you asked. i nua-ed almost the whole holiday away..haha! but went out with the kids to tamp1. hehe! =)

we haven't been meeting up cos we're both busy. school has just started for dumbdumb this week and the frequency of meet ups will be worse..=(

*this was supposed to be blogged yesterday but it didnt get through and i was busy suddenly. hurhurhur!* i have quite a few outdated pictures, but i'm wayy to lazy to post them up. another time perhaps. haha! =)

2009-09-16T10:29:00.005+08:00

my new blogskin is up.

i find the previous swinging monkeys kinda childish and for a split second, it disturbed me. so here it is, everything nice and clear. simple and sweet. wheets! and if u were to see some weird things around here or stuff that looked rather out of place, it's because i'm still in the midst of revamping everything. hurhur. omg..i just saw one of my researcher's baby girl and she's ADORABLE!! her huge wide innocent eyes are exactly what you can find online! those baby pictures! hehee..i shld go find a Caucasian or Indian husband, den my baby will be super chio or hunky! hahaah.. =X

it's supposed to be a busy day today. cos there's this seminar held in my office organised by my dept but it's at 4.30pm so i guess i'll only be busy in e later half of the day. and and, i'm meeting the bimbos for xlb buffet tonite!!=) lalalalala..

i just remembered i'm supposed to meet pris for a "ketchup" session soon. i'll get hold of you soon my dear! tuition sucks. my kids are cancelling on me last minute, giving me the sickening feeling of having my day ruined when u planned things wayy ahead. argh. i've learnt to make decisions and the decisions i made at work seemed to receive good comments! yayy..! deciding on something, even a simple one sounds tiring and tough to me. but i'm getting good at it.sounds kinda foolish i know, something simple can seem so hard to me. maybe it's e numerous times of setbacks i had with regards to the decisions i made, thus the low confidence in myself.

for once, i hope my luck wouldn't run dry. i hate to feel unlucky. it makes me feel....worthless.

2009-09-11T10:30:00.005+08:00

i've finished what i'm supposed to do and everyone's out for meeting so i'm left alone in the office again, starving and turning mouldy. here's some updates to my very mundane life. i miss school days, where i get to wear shorts everyday and not feel warm in my office wear. i get to go home and cancel events as and when i decide. i have control of my life, Now i feel as if there's this invisible force controlling me. i wake up at 6am without the alarm ringing (even i was amazed at that) but feel really sleepy and stony at about 3.30pm. this happens everyday, every single day. it's a wonder how someone can get so routine. it's 10.45am soon, my stomach just growled like every other day. hurhurhur, i'm tickled by the fact that my biological clock is really that accurate if i don eat my choco pie in the morning. haha!

well, darlings clan met up for the 2nd time since a few of us graduated? yupp, and we went drinking AGAIN. school or no school, one of our fave hangouts to chill other den kbox-ing would involve drinking (cos there's sunny wong). haha! =) timbre (we seem to always hang out there) was packed and we weren't early so we decided against queuing. me and joan walked in heels while e dudes walked in sweat arriving at Crazy Elephant and den The Clinic. though we've lost some zest in our conversations. it was still a great moment to relish in the usual activities we did when i was still schooling. drinking till we started blabbering and laughing at sunny who turned red and 0.0 before we even feel the kick was very amusing. it seemed as though we'll be back in school going for lectures e following day. hurhurhur!

pictures for us to remember the fun we had!

@ The Clinic where we ordered the expensive not-worth-it-but-very-innovative drink..hahah!

the 5 of us acting stupid with the drip that holds e alcohol.

sunny the obsessed drinker! =)

last but not least, presenting to you: the darlings clan! may we meet up regularly (not that regular otherwise we'll be bored with each other..hhahaha!) and keep in touch!!!

i got to know of something unbelievable. i was once a runner (i'll never fail to brag about this to anyone i know), now a retired and unhealthy person. i love to eat fast food and unhealthy stuff but i'd never have imagined myself to be THAT unhealthy. i raised my voice at the doctor, expressing my disbelief and rattling on the reasons to support my doubts. noting my agitated actions, he then comforted me by saying that "it usually can be found in young people"... very nice doc. guess i'll have to wait for the next checkup to clarify more doubts.

we went datingg!! and thank you for everything you've done for me and for comforting me and everything, i did make a mental note on all of them, though it looks as if i'm indifferent, i'm really happie and yayy! =) muacks!!!

2009-09-02T22:24:00.002+08:00

i am having a MAJOR MOOD SWING...major major major mood swing. and it's getting on my nerves. my head hurts, i walked RIGHT INTO THE DRAIN on my way to tuition, so my ankle hurts. i glared angrily when my student asked, "u having your menstrual cycle arh? the textbook that time u ask me memorise one say girls will be moody one..moody is angry anyhow scold people right?" --> guess which student is that?

2009-08-30T21:51:00.011+08:00

i haven't been blogging cos i'm either wayy too tired after work or i'm out giving tuitions and meeting random friends who can accommodate my crazy last minute confirmation for meetups. of course, meeting dumbdumb a few hours for comfort before i head hm straight to my bed was another source of motivation for me to strive on.

to fit into sharon's description of my "very long blogposts", here's another super long one. hurhurhur! i think it's due to my inconsistent updates. that's why everytime when i do update, posts will be so crazily longggg...hah!

here's sth, or the so many things i got from dilys the bimbo. hah! she's got me obsessed with the many facial products. and the once-who-don-slap-anything-on-her-face-girl starting lookin at websites of skinfood and laneige blahblahblah. it's unhealthy especially for my wallet. haha! bt i hope it's very good for my face!hah..=)

thanx bimbo! for the so many things u've given me!! hahaha! i'm still slowly using them cos i'm so lazy i don slap things on my face unless i remember. but the thing is there's sth wrong w my brain, and being in the bimbo grp, i don remember alot of tings! muahahahaha!

the group of bimbos i belong to. hahaha! the incessant laughter and proving-each-other-as-bimbos always had us laughing whenever we meet. thank you for being there with me whenever i need you girls! =) p.s: why do i always look like a monkey everytime i take pictures with you all? -.- freak.

not forgetting the cute lil one at home who's growing up so fast but still refusing to speak. i miss them. maybe nxt wk i'll rush back hm st8 to see them for awhile. hee! e last time i saw them when i went hm st8 after work, they were ecstatic. haha! and it kinda warms my heart to see them being so happie. almost like i've done the greatest thing in the world. hurhurhur!

he fits into my heels perfectly.

we brought them out to the many shopping centres to entertain them and ourselves. hahaha! =)

thursday (27 Sep 09)

i rushed to tuition but insisted on meeting dumbdumb though it was late and i was tired. but up till now, i haven't regretted rushing like mad that day. the gamer was into his game when i reached, even after many times of "i'm throwing my mouse away, otherwise my gf will be angry with me", i still see him in his exact gaming position!boohoohoo! but he ended e game quickly and we had a talk. a REAL talk. i haven't had a very good talk w him for ages and boy, that was a superb catch-up session i had w him. we laughed at his gibberish and gossips and filled each other in with events that happened to us. it was great. i loved talking to him and i almost forgotten how it feels to have a true conversation w him. it left me smiling to myself on my way home when i hit the bed.

friday (28 Sep 09)

we intended for a simple dinner at ikea and a chill out session somewhere. so after dinner, we headed for holland village to have icecream and den to west coast park for the so-called sea breeze that ben promised. (ended up there's only sweat tickling down my face).

but still, i enjoyed myself regardless of the boring events cos they're a bunch of ppl i feel comfortable with albeit the lack of common topics sometimes. =)

just before we headed home, dumbdumb rec a sms asking if he would like to join them at Rebel. and den whoosh, off we went, heading to clarke quay immediately. it was exciting, except for the fact that i didnt inform my dad wayy before hand cos i thot i'll be home earlier. haha! so he got worried for me, and i almost got a scolding. hurhurhur!

they're my ex colleagues and it was great meeting up with them. heh heh!

Sunday (30 Sep 09) :

cousin was sweet to have her photographer help me tk some graduation pictures (very delayed ones). it was just another formal picture taking and i'm glad dumbdumb was there! hurhurhur. cos we took couple pics as well..muahahaha! =) can't wait for those pictures! yayy!

i had a great and packed week. and i'm meeting up with pris later on! woots! but dexter stole my camera and she forgot to bring his. so i guess we're stuck with my lousy HTC phone cam. WAITING FOR MY PLAN TO END so tt i can have unlimited sms and a new phone! hahaha..=)

cancelled one tuition but i didnt receive her response. i feel evil. =(
but i haven't got a choice as well and i don't want to drag her into the trouble pool cos we can't fix on a specific day for tuitions. =(

2009-08-25T17:34:00.003+08:00

that's how i look today. without those dark eye rings that is. my friend said i looked like a walking zombie... i kept yawning and yawning till i wet my whole piece of tissue paper. it was torture. to read reviews and literature papers the whole day is madness.

i'm in a serious fix. but still, i'll wait patiently before i make a decision. i need help making it, cos i don't want to regret that decision.

2009-08-23T23:02:00.003+08:00

it was a stormy night yesterday. i didn't think i would be that gracious. to do something not once, but so many times for you. i didnt dare voice out nor whine cos i know u'll feel injustice. i got the impression that it's almost tit for tat. i see it akin to retribution. "what goes around comes around" - that phrase kept spinning in my head. i didn't think i would be this affected but i am. i thought i could get used to it but i didnt realise it was this hard. the highly imaginative me would go crazy if i'm left doing nothing, so i tried my best to keep myself occupied or sleep earlier. perhaps it's due to the distance i felt that's existing between us. i must have hallucinated the night away~

due to work, fridays are kinda e most looked forward day of the week. no one would complain about the late nights out and no one would dread ending the night early. it's almost like i'm back to school days where i have a say in my time schedules. work's actually not VERY hectic, rather slow-paced (perhaps it's the environment i'm in. even e big boss's from Aussie, obviously everything's slow and steady wins e race, heh heh heh). i felt like i was back to school at times. i got in touch with knowledge. sth that can be learnt only in schools. hurhurhur. and my cubicle is HUGE, so i'm very tempted to stay for good. hMmm..~

we went keppel bay, after skipping the idea of going to west coast park in the middle of the night. since keppel bay sounds atas and we've never been there, the decision was made in less den 5 mins. haha!=) so there we were, doing crazy things in the middle of the night. hurhurhur. it was fun, though the place's boring if u're not there to chill and drink. but nevertheless, i can't deny that it's a romantic place to spend some "alone" time. nice!

he's bloody heavy. hahaha! but i couldnt believe i can actually lift him up and walk in circles for like 20 seconds! i'm strong!

she's cool and i like her! hahahaha..=)

perfect!

i didnt know my camera was this great. hahaha! nice righttt???

i love taking pictures with you.

2009-08-18T16:28:00.004+08:00

i've learnt...

- how to sip coffee in the office while everyone is out for a meeting at MOM and i'm left alone in the office writing a letter.

- how to tolerate irritants who calls me china girl for the #$%^&* times u can ever imagine. i do not strongly discriminate my ancestors from China. it's just the pissed-off feeling i get when someone keeps reminding and emphasising to me that i really DO look like a China girl. Such comments have been thrown at me since like secondary 2 when parents of China students during orientations would ask me where i'm from. so yes, just so you know, i hate being labeled as one of them, although some DO lookk very chio. i'd rather be termed as taiwanese ah lian seriously.

- how to keep things and comments to myself though i always feel the urge to share issues and stuff with everyone. sometimes things are better off left unsaid. the urge might be strong, but once you curb it and get a grip yourself, i'm sure the urge would be over.

- how to wear power heels for the whole day WITHOUT taking them off cos i still don't dare to bring a pair of slippers to work and am too embarrassed to walk around the office barefooted. that would include going for tuitions and walking around. there's this time after tuition when i slipped into my heels intending to head home, i realised MY FEET ARE SWOLLEN!! cos my feet are small which makes buying shoes difficult especially mondo (my favourite - cheap and nice) shoes. i'll either have to put in those insoles or my shoes will be kinda loose. that day after tuition, MY HEELS FELT TIGHT! i was like...shit, why can't i fit into my heels. i even took it off and peeked inside to see if sth was inside. and the mom has to say "got cockroach go in ah??" so end up i took a cab home without even waiting for the direct bus home.

i'm goingg dating later with dumbdumb, so i'm waiting for 5pm to come! i'm done with my letter and i guess that's about it today! more pictures up soonn!! i'm going out on a date with the bimbos tml!! yayyy!!

2009-08-16T01:09:00.007+08:00

a week after the redang trip, i started peelin on my shoulders. =( and it got worse within a day. so i was desperate cos it really look ugly. =( now the tanned pretty shoulders turned hideous! damn sad. so here are the pics to remind me that i had a great time during the short getaway on national day. no i didnt pledge at 8.22pm on the actual day. i kinda forgot what i was doing. i guess i was out drinking beer on the mosquitoes infested beach listening to my cute lil bro relate about his love life. HURHURHUR. he's grown up like finally. but he's still a kid to me, and i'll always be in FULL control of him. lalalala..i have my means. always. =)

the movie UP was great, i can't believe i even teared to a cartoon. -.- though sth memorably bad happened to me which kinda freaked me out seriously, i decided to push all bad thoughts aside and focus on what i have now. though i'm easily possessed with unhealthy thinkings, i'm trying not to express them and make things worse. i'm supposed to lead a happie life and i'll treasure what i have.

my virgin trip to a foreign beach. presenting to you, REDANG, the place where the sea and sky meets. the place filled with caucasians u can't imagine that it's Malaysia. the place where the sand feels like powder, where the sun rays have a magic touch on you. their normal icecream tastes like heaven there and of course, the company's great. =) everything was relaxing and great. of course, no one wants to leave such a heavenly place. there's people who stays here for weeks!! goodness, that's really GOOD LIFE man. hurhurhur!

first, lemme show you a huge chio pic of me!!!~~

nice right nice right!??!?! but i think i'm pullin my shorts up, cos it's droppingg...hahahha! =)

we're the most hip family amongst the "auntie tour"

the 6 of them excluding me and dumbdumb for the trip. =) my aunt, mommy, dexty, alicia, qiang, and daddy!! =)

everyone agreed my dad is cool. i thot so myself. =)

and dexty has his genes. only in the WRONG way...

the boat ride was scary. real scary. hahaha! i feel like some flying fish riding the waves can!

we got bored in the bus and the air-con was very powerful, so we decided to fiddle with the scarfs we have. and the outcome was hilarious. hahahaha!

i love this pic of me and dumbdumb!!! =)

it's so nice i decided to ENLARGE it...hahahaha!=)

the native kids in Malaysia...

the 3 idiots tried numerous jumpshots.

yes, thre's alot more coming up...

even dad joined in...

and the most recognised location on redang!!!

that's all i guess. all in all, it's a great trip. I WANNA GO ON MORE HOLIDAYS!!! hahahaa!

my thoughts started straying again. =( this is bad...=(

2009-08-14T22:53:00.001+08:00

i was about to start blogging before i go to sleep.

but now, i'm goingg on a date! tata!! =)

2009-08-14T16:50:00.002+08:00

i realised a trend while working.

the first thing Caucasians will ask someone out of friendliness would be
"Hey, how're you doing?!"

on the other hand,

Chinese will ask this "Heyyy, have you eaten??"

come to think of it, it seems easier to answer that "have you eaten?" question. hurhur!

i was asked by one of the researchers twice every time he saw me within a 2 hours time frame. i was kinda caught offhanded cos i didn't know if i shld repeat what i answered previously so i just acted as if i didnt hear his "how're you doing?" hurhurhur. someone pls tell me how i should answer him in future. hahaha!

2009-08-14T09:46:00.002+08:00

something in me makes me kinda regret not accepting the teachers' job deal. the pay's good, i'm very comfortable with teaching or rather i kinda like teaching. the working hours might be short tentatively and my friend is brain-washing me that teaching is good. -.- the only comforting thing is that i didn't get the subjects i wanted to teach. i got Social Studies and English, the 2 subjects that i don't consider interesting myself as a student. i'll never be able to make an impact in the students. i'll never be able to make the process of studying those subjects enjoyable. i read through the letter of offer last night that was sent to me. the prospects looked great in the short term. but with respect to my future, it still looked kinda dull. i have to force myself to look further, look further so tat i can stop having 2nd thoughts about it. i still enjoy teaching my current students, though at times or rather usually i have to scream and roll my eyes at them or smack them on their hands, i have forged a bond with them already. that was another reason why i couldn't make up my mind who to give up. i'm comforted that they're giving in to my late night tuition and accommodating to my work life. i was prepared to give up the one who couldn't stand having tuition later in the day, but none complained. i wonder if it's a good or bad thing.

i'm still bored at work. my manager didnt bring me along to her meeting today and i'm stuck here reading literature reviews. hurhurhur! and it's friday~~ the weekends are here!! lalalalaa...

i liked how you snatched the ring away from me when u found out that i'm taking it away. it made me smile every time that scene replayed itself in my head. thank you for the support you've given me. =))

2009-08-12T15:26:00.003+08:00

i just ended a meeting where some marketing and sales ppl from some statistical software distributor came to promote their products. i feel so much like going back to school when i saw those things being presented. those annova, graphs, blablablabla had the lady beside me rolling her eyes cos she's as lost as i am. hee!

i'm bored. in a corner reading confidential documents and proposals till i start to tear (cos of my dry contacts). like what dumbdumb said, i don think i can stand the late nights anymore, cos i'll be dozing off in office like anytime especially after lunch. hurhurhur. and halleluja, i have 2 freakin tuitions after work. i'm definitely screwed up tonite.

2009-08-12T00:45:00.002+08:00

a HUGE dilemma, a future at risk. a decision to be made (AGAIN). not fun at all. i've been bothered over it for days, but still i kinda dread making the decision. somehow i think my life is a big joke. others say i'm lucky but i'd prefer to say that i'm lucky at the WRONG time. damnit.

-.-

2009-08-05T15:07:00.006+08:00

the complications of a conversation. sometimes things do not get emphasised or conveyed to the other party due to other more impending issues. the things i want to make a point to you gets submerged under other things. i'm not a very superb speaker myself and i have the tendency to always say the wrong things to people at the wrong time. it makes me wanna slap myself and disappear into thin air the moment i realised the stupid things i've said. i have a flair for sulking and throwing tantrums these days. but such emotional feelings come and go and i realised i'm just making things difficult for myself. worse still, i actually don have the chance to throw tantrums. most of the time, i'll end up hating myself. i know i'm weird. i've hated how people around me have changed for the worse and somehow, a part in me suspects that people around me secretly hates me as well. hurhurhur! i live in a delusional and paranoid world. like i said, i bet i'm at HIGH risk of getting depression whatever mental illness. -.-

i went out with bimbo that day. we roamed e whole of orchard. no, i think more like we went back and forth places like taka and tangs and blablabla..it was fun. the laughings, the never-ending jokes and e psycho-ing of asking me to buy this and that. HAHHAA! now that sharon is back, i'm lookin forward to meeting her as well! =)

we took dozens of pictures. only to realise tat they all look the same. how bimbo can this get? and indeed, shopping is fun with her. or rather retail therapy is fun cos she's a bad friend who thinks i shld buy EVERYTHING. very unhealthy. hahaha! and i'm still waiting for the BBcream girl to reply. who says that she replies fast one? idiot. hahaha!

i'm goingg to redang tonite. with my mom and her friends. hurhur. it's gonna be a looong msia trip and i hope i wun get bored out by it. it's time to get TANNED! hah..more pictures will be up soon! haha..yayy!!

almost forgot about the neoprint i took. hehe! i love taking neoprints!! who wanna take with me!!?? but it's damn ex..bleah. there's like 12bucks neoprints out there lah! goodness. when it all used to charge only 4bucks. damn. suck money machines. haha!

somehow, i bet bimbo can't stand my face being so white. hahaha! but i think pris likes white complexion. hurhurhur! get well soon pris, if u're still sick when i'm back from redang i'll get u honey drink on wed!! cos i'm starting work alr and i'm going to raffles! HAHAHA..=)

I LOVE THIS PIC!!! it's cute right?!?!?! my hair looks like some ahlian... DAMN.

i hate the way some people takes other people's time for granted. you being busy doesnt mean that the rest aren't busy as well. letting someone wait for you like an idiot doesnt reflect very well on you and do you not have some sense of urgency? goodness. waste my whole morning!
argh. asshole.

i'm gonna go bathe and try out that pimple / blackhead extractor thinggy i bought! hahaha!

2009-08-03T00:43:00.002+08:00

early in the morning when i woke up. i was still so excited and thought it's gonna be an interesting and happening day. so we travelled all e way to east coast park for cycling. only to result in a butt aching experience and cramped arms. me is weak. -.- sharon's coming back on e 5th so i shall make an attempt to regain my strength and health. HAHAHA! =) (like real, as if it's gonna make any difference.)

my TARGET would be to shed 5 bloody kg of fats. in order to look HOT and SEXAY so that i'll be loved even more! woots. roll your eyes to support me. =) watched some gala by my dad's company and found this phrase from e movie really intriguing

girl: i can think of the time when i fell in love with you
boy: i can't think of a time when i did not fall in love with you

awww...so sweet right??

it always dawned upon me that you're maintaining a facade in front of me. i might be sensitive but i'm backed up with people who agree with me. i've learnt my mistake and was proven the point time and again. you're one huge mistake i made but you're doing nothing to redeem yourself. i've let things be and shall not pursue but for old times sake i really hope that you would seriously self reflect and stop this nonsense. the continuation of those easily predictable stunts are no longer original. i've seen them countless times and given my advice yet you either ignored or could not be bothered. i was sad that i've lost you cos i really do treasure you. but in the first place, it seemed as though i was just another normal being to you. a source of gossip, a source of entertainment. nothing more than that. the betrayal i felt when the moment of truth was made known. you suck. i thought you were the one, yet you disappointed me.

pris! that's dumbdumb's new hairstyle for you to see!!
HAHAHA! u think my bangs are nice!!??!

2009-08-01T00:23:00.002+08:00

lotsa things been happening to me but i'm glad it's over. i'm really not cut out to make decisions and i'm very troubled over it. cos i think those who make decisions (wise one that is) are looked upon. so that means i'm a loser. i think i need decision making courses. i really tried at first, but when i know e outcome of the decision is gonna be really crucial, i kinda freaked out and kept thinking i'll make e wrong decision. but anyways, thank you to those who've been with me throughout this ordeal. i know it's kinda sickening to hear me being so frustrated and annoying in e midst of it but i just wanna shout out. THANK YOU!!! hurhurhur! i wouldnt have made it through without you guys.

OUTING WITH PRIS AND RUILING without yijun. hurhurhur! she's not reading this i bet, so it doesnt make much diff. but she pangseh-ed us. idiot! i was still wondering many months later will we have ANOTHER outing with these 3 girls i spent 2 years with in SAJC. hurhurhur! surprisingly, they're from NHSS as well!! hahahaa!

it's nice meeting up friends from history. u get to gossip about other missing frens in history and u get to know what they're doing now. we once were in the same path walking hand in hand together. now we've all separated and are walking different paths. we never know when our paths might meet again. but sometimes, it's comforting to know at least where our friends are heading to. it gives u a moment to relish the sweet memories u once had. ewww.. i hate growing up. -.-

went back to malaysia over e wkend. hurhurhur, like many other previous times, shopping and eating's involved so it's very fun. laallala!

NATIONAL DAY'S ALMOST HERE!! i heard from e radio that on national day at 8.22pm, everyone's supposed to say e pledge together. wells, i'll be sayin the pledge in Redang!!! YAYYYY!! =) yuppp, and i'm lookin forward to it! lalalala! arent the kids cute?!?! especially e playful ivan who can't even do a proper twist. hahah!

last but not least, MY FAVOURITE PICTURE!!!

i know i have been giving u headaches. but when i saw how happie you were for me, i was indeed very touched. u have stayed with me throughout the difficult periods and you've given me the utmost support u can provide. thank you for all you've done. nothing can replace the look of happiness on ur face that night when i met you. i can sense that you're even more excited than myself. but why must you go cut ur hair??? =((((

2009-07-23T01:02:00.002+08:00

.reprimanded. self-reflect. repent.

it wasn't like this in the past. things change. people change. there's no happily ever after. taken things for granted. fearing for something only i would know. fearing to the extent of breaking down. i may not be perfect, but my heart is true. i may be the worst person out there, but i care. the world came to a stop when i thought of the possibility. my cramps lasted pretty long this time round. too many things involved, too much issues. too much burden at a point of time.

2009-07-22T14:22:00.002+08:00

the pain was excruciating. i didn't really sleep a wink last night. although i had expected it coming all along and was mentally prepared for it. i didnt know that it would be THIS agonising. i twisted and turned in bed, curled up into a ball and tried EVERY position that would make myself slightly more comfortable, obviously to no avail. i didn't pop the weird unknown pill, instead i tried panadol extra, cos e pain was almost unbearable. i wonder how many more months of pain i had to go through. the doctor once said i should pick up my "fit lifestyle" again (which means i have to go running) so as to make my body stronger and all my illness (including my cracking bones problem) would be solved. but the laziness in me was wayy too powerful for my self determination to do its job. every month on this day, i would hate being a woman. -.-

i'm off to tuitions soon. hopefully i wun faint somewhere in the streets. HAHAHA!

2009-07-17T23:57:00.004+08:00

i'm throwing a tantrum now. E.M.O i have this huge flaw. i think wayy too much. i really can't help it. thoughts just kept going around my head driving me crazy. i think of every single possible situation that could happen. and worse, i put myself in those various situation and worry myself with it. sometimes i use my dirty auntie as an excuse for my emo-ness. but i realised this has to stop. i wouldnt get far with this character of mine. sooner or later, i'll be left with no friends. everyone will hate me so much cos i get so frustrated i drive others crazy. i have this tendency to ask people for opinions. to ask people for advice. i'm weak. i'm learning how to be strong. how to make decisions. i shall decide things for MYSELF now. and i shall STICK TO MY DECISION no matter how bad the outcome is. okie great, i'm whining to dilys...and i'm sounding like some freaked out bimbo with a WILD IMAGINATION...-.-

.worthless.

2009-07-17T13:42:00.005+08:00

my neighbourhood is under major construction now. e void deck downstairs is having a funeral. basically staying at home is practically a torture. hurhurhur! i love my new lift. it sends me right up to my doorstep. but the thing about it is, it's slow. i stay right at the top 12th level and so, i have to wait for everyone to alight at their respective levels before it comes up to "fetch" me down. once, i waited for a whole 5 minutes! damn. i realised i didnt blog about many events. so since i'm bored and waitin to go for tuitions, i shall post pictures up!! hehe!

this was sometime ago when we went out to have dinner tgt!! too bad our bintan trip didnt turn out well...but i'll try to find another time so we can go chill tgt! hurhurhur..=)

dumbdumb: i wanna buy mouse leh...
me: okay loh, we go challenger. i got discount. hahahaha!
*walks around the mouse section looking and touching*
dumbdumb: let's go another shop...
me: huh? here so many don have one u like one meh?! i got discount leh...
dumbdumb: go see see lahhh...
*walks cyberactive, harvey norman, touch touch look look*
dumbdumb: i want buy mousy lehhh....i wan buy MOUSE!!!
me: den you buy LAHHHHHHHHH....!!!! so many mouse big one small one you see don have meh?!?!?!?!? buy lah!! this one?! that one??
dumbdumb: hMmm...nvm lah..dowan..

*grumbles*

he's starting to be like me...change the mouse to shoe...and it'll be the EXACT situation in my case. damn.

xiao long baoooo!!!! i think i secretly ate all e xiaolongbaos and left him with only one..muahahhaha! i only realised it when i kiap e last bao BUT it's alr in my mouth when i realised it! shat..luckily he's kept occupied with his noodles! muahahaha! and he used e xiaolongbao as a stunt to shut my mouth up. smartass.

brought the kids out on an impromptu trip last sunday. hurhur! to causeway point, where there's like 2 simulator cars every level and they would go CRAZY instantly when they see those cars. -.-

i realised this is the virgin post on my hamster. hahaha! yuppp, i currenly own two hamsters, one black and one white. e white one bit me previously so i have this thing against it. but it's e more active one (it also terrorise the other one) so i have to separate them. e black one is the cute and very tamed one even after much poking by ivan, she still can stay calm. thinking of giving the white one away but it's an adult already and there's no takers. oh, the name's snarlie anyways. any takers?!?!?!??

that's ivan with the bear bouquet!! he'll point at it and scream BEAR BEAR BEAR!!! so i gave in and let him carry it for awhile before he starts pulling everything apart. hehehe! =)

2009-07-14T23:58:00.002+08:00

there's something amazing about me when i sleep.

i sleep talk sanely. note the word SANELY. =)

it was sunday. i was feeling sian. and i've got nothing to do. so i activated my hibernation mode and went into deep sleep. some of the following description was provided by my mom. hurhurhur!

call #1: dumbdumb called while i was asleep. i turned over and picked up the call. i forgot what i told him and what the conversation was about but we talked for quite some time before i made an excuse to hang up the phone and continue with my sleep. so he hung up (knowing i wouldnt know what's happening cos this is not the first time i've picked up his calls in my sleep and rattle rubbish without knowing. hurhurhur!)

call #2: tuition kid - was supposed to have tuition like an hour after her call so she called to ask if i'm coming over. and i mumbled i dono wad but managed to talk properly and hang up the phone properly. ---- i totally have no recollection she called. she said i agreed to go for tuition and even asked her to do her homework.

call #3: secret bud called and said to meet up blablabla..and i chatted normally and hang out. secret bud said i was talking normally just that i sounded really tired. mom said i sat up st8 to talk with my eyes closed and den when i hung up i slept sitting up for 10mins before i collapsed back in bed.

sms #1: apparently i wakie to sms tuition kid saying i can't go over for tuition. i woke up reading the msg and it was such a perfect sms i was surprised! mom said i used only one eye to look at e phone while i sms and st8 after i sent it, my eye closed and i was in that pose for a few mins before e phone slipped off my hand. HURHURHUR!!!

AIN'T I AMAZING???

and apparently i have fantastic dreams. i was in a school that looked like my primary school. why do i always have CREEPY dreams and e setting would be in my primary school?!?!?! DAMN I HATE THAT PLACE. so i was running and looking for someone or something. and i found her. she was alone in the room. she's priscilla. and she asked me to get out of the room to dono do wad. and i bloody listened to her so i ran out and looked around machiam in MTV lidat...and i looked and looked. strangely enough, i came back to the room pris was in. i peeked in and saw her talking to thin air!!! so i went in and settled in a seat beside her. she continued GOSSIPING into thin air ignoring me. and slowly, thin air started to form the shape of a girl!!! and e freakish me got freaked out and woke up. -.-

i hereby declare i'm e most unlucky person i've ever met. trust me, i'm SO UNLUCKY mommy agreed with me. =(

1) i swallowed a fish bone when i was talking and having dinner with my family. and i only realised it when e bone kinda scratched my throat.

2) i was waiting for the bus to go for tuition and complaining to dumbdumb about my very sad predicament when a bus whizzed past me. and i looked at e crazy bus, only to realise that it's e bloody bus i'm supposed to take. that's fine if the WHOLE BUS STOP HAS only a few lone spirits. BUT NO!!! THE FREAKING BUS STOP IS PACKED AND NO ONE BUT ME IS TAKING 188!!! ABSOLUTELY NO ONE. so i missed the bus and i have to take cab over to tuition.

i was so lost for words i didnt know how to react. the whole bus stop saw me jumping up from my seat and they just looked at me. -.- bad day bad day. very bad day...=( the fact that my digestive system is not working normally isnt helping at all. sucked big time!

2009-07-11T23:44:00.003+08:00

i'm having flu now..boohoohoo! was feeling rather happie yesterday until nite falls when e sianness overwhlemed me all of a sudden. i'm seriously weird. me didnt know why i have been feeling that way but last nite was e limit. i was wrong to feel that way. it's been quite awhile since i last laughed and smiled like there's no tomorrow. yesterday was FAMILY day and we practically toured singapore. time flies when there's companion around with you! =) the worst thing is, i didnt bring my camera with me cos i thot we're only going out for breakfast. hurhurhur! so i've no pictures to keep everyone entertained. =( i've decided to not take things really seriously like what my secret buddy said, since life is short why be miserable? i'm not sure if he said that but at least it's something along that wavelength. hahaha! and since dilys is out dating with her beloved while i'm alone at home rotting away refusing to continue my dad's proj i've decided to blog. hurhurhur!

friday:

i totally LOVES MY PHONE. i didnt realise the power of HTC diamond till yesterday. tuition was cancelled so my plan for that day was totally screwed. i had a FULL 3 hours to rot at dhoby guat and the thought of it was MADNESS. people who know me would know that i can actually die from the boredom and the irritating feeling i get cos i don window shop alone (especially if it's for freaking 3 hrs), and ya, i don feel umcomfortable hanging out alone. =( i'm useless i admit. hurhur! the lanshop suggestion was rather ultimate and i was almost squeezing my fists to fight off the sadness in me! =( so i called secret bud but he was busy. -.- and i walked to PS burger king to order KIDS MEAL and got myself some stoopid toy. fiddling with my phone, i realised there's WIRELESS@SG..omg i love this thing. hahhaa! and i went ONLINE and chatted like crazy to the only one online who would gladly entertain me with crap - my secret bud. hahaha! thanx dude! i almost blogged, but yah, e phone was rather small and difficult to type but i can't deny that i'm quite a pro at typing on my phone..hurhurhur! =)

met up with dumbdumb earlier after he knew about my sorry state. and we waited for ages for his colleagues and a few of my ex-colleagues. had dinner after queuing for eons and settled down at teadot for chilling. hurhur. an entertaining bunch of people. though initially i kinda regretted agreeing to join them but yah, i think i'm joinin them for the 25th so called hooha event. as well muahahhaa! dumbdumb is dead.

saturday:

a fun-filled exciting day of eating walking around and eating and slacking. hahaha! lotsa laughter and joy i should say. i love my family. my dad is HILARIOUS, my mom is irritatingly cute but still extremely irritating. i love my family!!! =)

i like the way i made u laugh till u almost teared. muhahahahahaa!

p.s: i remembered i'm supposed to blog about my graduation. forget it. -.- hahahah! =) and sharon is coming back in aug soon!! i'll get slim soon! very soon!! yayyy!! next week's gonna be busy!! lalalallaa...=)

2009-07-11T00:48:00.003+08:00

super demoralised. it's not as if it's my choice. it's not as if i'm sitting there doing nothing. alright, i admit perhaps i didnt try hard enough, bt trust me, i DID try.

i realised i'm VERY dependent on people. i need support (alright, declare me useless i don mind. i'm a very people person). though i very much wanna portray myself to be someone independent, someone strong. i may have succeed cos ppl tell me they're surprised i'm not who they thot i am when they know me more. and now, i'm even more glad that i have friends around me. =)

i forgot what i wanted to blog. damn.

2009-07-04T22:47:00.002+08:00

the feeling of loneliness sucks.

.sulking. humph.

2009-07-03T20:17:00.003+08:00

i've resorted to reading novels. since i've got nothing better to do. and i know if i start picking up reading again, i'll go on hunger strikes and not sleep a wink if THAT book is interesting enough.

yes, i'm desperate. desperately bored. desperate for something to keep my entertained. and pris, i've been reading people's blog that are OH SO UNMOTIVATING..sigh.

meeting up with someone close during the secondary school days made me feel emo again. they remind me of the many frens i've lost touch with and one by one, memories of hanging out with them came rushing in. it's as if they happened just yesterday. i was a very rah-rah girl during my secondary school days and i've a hell lot of fun times with people around me. but now, i'm left with only memories. yes, i haven hung out with quite a number of close friends. it could be my fault (okay, it's practically MY fault). i've kinda lost faith in friendship, the times when i realised friendship were not dependable. the times when i realised i couldnt establish a true friendship. the times when i realised i've really lost my friend. that's when i told myself not to commit too much. cos i've been hurt not once, but more than twice.

i've started wearing this ring of mine with a 'ting' and her name carved in it. it signifies a strong friendship i once had. but now, the distance we had was miles apart. i've lost her, though i really hope to know how is she doing and what's happening in her life. we didnt end off on a happy note, but i can't really recall what caused the distance between us. but yah, it's too late. i kept having the mindset that friendship are like expensive vases. once they're chipped or broken, they would always have scars that can never be mended. what's worse is that my vase has kinda shattered. the only comfort i get is sometimes, i manage to piece up the shattered pieces and they fit.

another emo post. duh.

i'm so glad i still have dilys, sharon and pris.

2009-06-30T10:13:00.002+08:00

i couldn't close my eyes and sleep a wink last night despite the exhaustion i was feeling. my white hamster that was being rejected by malcolm's pet shop was making a din in my living room and i hate to crawl outta my bed to remove the damn wheel so that she'll stop SPINNING AND MAKING NOISES that'll further interrupt me from my much yearned for sleep. it wasnt until 5am that i managed to enter slumberland. i think i'm so gonna be dead today. 0.0

i admit since young i haven't had the best luck one could ever imagine. or rather i was the most unlucky one outta my siblings. i didnt have the intelligence and i didnt have lady luck supporting me by my side whenever exams are here. i even gave up spotting for topics (that's why u don see me spotting for topics to study on), cos most of the time, the topics i spotted on would rarely appear in the actual papers. it's not that i refuse to study smart, i mean who doesnt wanna save more effort and study less. but i kinda hate to admit to fate that when i'm slapped with the truth that i am indeed some jinx. i was glad to have come this far. i've worked kinda hard for it i suppose and at this point of time, i can't help but admit i regretted not working even harder.

perhaps if i were to work harder, my parents would be more proud of me. perhaps if i were to work harder, none of these would be happening. perhaps if i were to make wise decisions, i wouldn't be typing this entry. i can't make decisions for nuts, everyone blames me for this. but the reason why i don't make decisions points down to me being afraid i'll make the wrong decisions. i even resort to letting others make the decision for me, cos i'd rather blame it on others den blame it on myself. maybe i'll love myself more. i've turned into someone with no opinions. i admire people who makes decisions for themselves. i salute their courage.

nvm, i shall go have my breakfast + lunch. i think i'm self-wallowing now.

2009-06-30T00:10:00.002+08:00

i'm having a splitting headache. when all i did was go out for a few hours in the evening. i think i'm used to being inactive.

my mom came into my room with a row of her teeth missing. i thought she sounded weird and when i looked into her face i 0.0. so i decided to brush my teeth more often to avoid turning toothless like her.

2009-06-28T13:43:00.006+08:00

dad's working today. so i'm rotting at home and dumbdumb went to church. apparently, no one is online on a sunday morning or afternoon and i absolutely can't believe that i can lie on my bed and watch programs from my blackbox for 4 straight hours without even moving my butt! i'm a self-declared professional nua-er. mom being ever so irritating can't stand me doing nothing while she dolls up the house (in another word, clean the house). so she nags and complains that i can stay in a position and glue my eyes to the TV and turn into mould. of course, being the harsh one, she used rather sensitive words and thus, i rolled my eyes and switched off the TV, turning to my lappie for entertainment = i can't be bothered with her.

so another week has passed in just a blink of an eye. i didnt exactly know how time can fly so quickly but i'm sort of getting used to being alone. the feeling when u wanna go out somewhere but you have no one to date, or rather u wann to date someone but you don know what to do and what the date should be about. and you're afraid everything would be so boring and a bad impression would be left. the temptations of shopping kept luring me but my determination was strong. things were especially easy since i refuse to start packing my wardrobe. everytime i want to buy something online, i'll turn around and open my wardrobe. and den, i'll try digging out something new and i'll be amazed at how crumpled it looked. so i'll go back and click the X button and i've succeeded! yesh! hurhurhur. this is madly insane of me. -.-

the birdpark trip on saturday!! my fren has free corporate passes to birdpark and asked me & dumbdumb along..hurhur! i thot it would be rather rushed cos we booked movie transformer in the afternoon at 2.10pm. so we decided to meet at 9am jurong point EARLY IN THE MORNING. yawns. dumbdumb was crazy to go out on friday night to St James with his friends, coming home only in e morning and with less den 4 hours of sleep, he was only mentally with us for half the day..hhahaha!

.................. i realised i'm very lazy to photoscape my pics and make them into collage to post it up.

so i guess i'll just post some of the pics up before i have enough energy to go the collage. hahaha! =)

yes it bloody rained a short moment after we reached birdpark. sians.

why do i look so short over here...? -.-

the bridge at Lory's Loft!!

i didnt think that waterfall is spectacular at all. it just looked like a tiny waterfall..hahaha!

2009-06-24T00:23:00.007+08:00

i don't know why but i'm feeling really frustrated now. sometimes u really want to do something but u just can't seem to be able to do it. it's the helpless feeling u get when u realised u do not have the power to even attempt to do it. -.- and u can only watch in despair as u stand aside and sigh saying "i'm useless", feeling as if being in existance is redundant.

in annoyance, things weren't going smoothly for me either. wishes and wants would never fail to slip through my fingers and *poof* they'd be gone. i no longer pin hopes on anything. maybe i shld really convince myself not to pin any hopes. it's a tiring night. my new pretty dress was a huge disappointment. another dress to add to my collection of chucking into the deep end of my wardrobe.

jaded.

2009-06-23T14:46:00.005+08:00

yayy!! i finally managed to get into this page cos i've been loading and loading for the past 10 mins. another week has passed. i'm glad i have some tuitions to keep me surviving and have been keeping myself occupied with shuxuan's telemarketing (getting rejected) assignment and some data entry my dad threw me. hurhurhur! and of course, going on dates with dumbdumb and some random friends..hurhur! dexter has been invading my room since dono when and EVERY night, he's been playing songs and what nots beside me. and HE SLEEPS EVEN LATER THAN ME! not that i sleep really late, it's just weird to have someone in the room when i'm SLEEPING. i used to slp with my brothers, but my dad shifted me to the "study room" cos supposedly i'm a girl and i shld have my own room. but my room was still being "conquered" by weird people at night as my mom would come in and "blow air con" while dexter would fully utilise my huge table. -.- what's the point of having my own room. damn. and my room used to be WAYYY cleaner..i don mean VERY CLEAN. but at least it's cleaner than the current state. and now after dexter "moved" in, everything's a mess. -.- dad doesnt even wanna come into the room cos he's irked by the pile of stuff we've thrown all around the room.

i see my fren (MY AGE) with their boyfriends proposing to them. OMG!! so young?!?!??! and i wonder if they're getting married soon. i realised i'm OLD. literally old. (not to remind myself that i'm jobless as well). and i'm of marrying age. if one day i accidentally get pregnant (CHOI CHOI CHOI), i think i'll be married off. ewwww!!! that means i can't extend my hands and say "mii, i no moneyy liao le lehh..how how how??" look, this doesnt mean that i'm a wimp who keeps squeezing my parents dry. they stopped giving me allowance since dono when..and i had tuitions to support myself, AND my shopping cravings. but still, i realised i'm very old already. i'm bloody 22 years old. i'm gonna turn into an OLD HAG soon lah!! think i better save up to buy SKII. sobsob. luckily as of now, i haven been using ANY facial products except that newly acquired kiehl's pimple cream. so i guess my face shldnt be immune to any products which means they'll work just nice! hurhurhur, self-consoling theory. i wonder how my kids will look like.

*inserts*

random qns: what if one day you have a very adorable and cute child as the elder one. and the 2nd one came along to be ugly and really ugly, but still very good tempered and well mannered and well disciplined. will you be bias against the ugly one? will u love one but not the other?

AGAIn, i repeat, my wardrobes full of tight and sexy clothes i can't fit into..-.- i've grown...and i'm still undergoing puberty so i guess the lil amt of food i eat gets transformed into lotsa fats around my body, esp my belly and face (chins to be exact) and arms. which is practically lethal. yawns.

i know this is damn random. i'm practically typing everything my brain is processing. this means how random i am now. and my tuition kid just called to cancel tuition..so i'm even more free now. -.- and i'm talking to my brother who's supposed to be in office working now. i wonder why his boss even hired him. i'm such a committed and good employee why he dowan hire me go hire my brother who sleeps and rots in his office. damn sad. why can't anyone appreciate my talent and desperation for something to do!? hahaa!

went out with wilfred that day after my tuition. had lunch walked around for only awhile but still, i spent $$ in F21..damnit. luckily my sturdy but lousy shoes didnt give wayy until i get home... they belong with the rubbish now..hurhurhur!

and of course, not forgetting my dumbdumb. hurhurhur!

the art of taking pictures. you'll realise the picture is slightly slanted. that's called skill.

ignore my fat fugly double chins. focus on our lucious lips. we're such loving siblings.

2009-06-19T00:07:00.003+08:00

i'm a thinker when i'm bored. i think of a hell lot of things when i have nothing better to do.

i hate to be judged. i happen to be someone who's rather concerned of how others would view me. which is precisely why sometimes i'd rather keep comments about issues to myself. i'm very sensitive, especially when it's the time of the month when my tummy gets bloated up and i get easily agitated for no reason at all. i displayed my years of acting skills to good use today. and damn, i was good. i went crazy and happie and the next second i tried crying. AND THE TEARS APPEARED! i sat infront of my lappie watching hannah and laughing away. the next minute, i clicked on successful ppl's blog with everything going smoothly in their life and i cried. but the worst thing one can ever do is to share the reason of my tears with my closest pal. and now, she's feeling equally miserable like me.

i had random thoughts everyday. and i've decided to pen down these random thoughts and questions to irritate the hell out of everyone. feel free to answer my qns, though i know few people are tracking down this blog cos it's BORING.

well, i DO admit i lead a boring life. wait till i lead a happening life. you'll see my statsboard HOPPING AND JUMPING like nobody's business. hahaha! but now, i'm so boring even my eyes are half opened e whole day. i even had difficulty drawin up my eyeliner...that's how small my eyes are now..i'm so lazy to even open them. -.-

to the guys: what if one day your girlfren were to be so fat that she has to shop in the mens section together with you. would you still go shopping with her?

dexter: i don mind, true love. shopping tgt? yeah, why not?

2009-06-15T19:56:00.003+08:00

i had a dream. or rather i had a nightmare.

i don't have THAT many close friends. and it kinda saddens me if i realise that i'll be losing some of them. i feel the drifting part already. as i'm a very lazy and un-initiative-taking person, i don usually approach a person to talk or date the person out UNLESS i'm on talking terms with him/her. i don even open my MSN main window to find friends to talk to unless i have the intention to. i'm that anti-social, though it totally doesnt reflect much on me. haha!

and the nightmare was so scary that it shows my friends turning their backs on me! =( darlings clan ppl were in my dream.. the worst scene was sunny being pissed off with me for my lame jokes on him and he scolded me like there's no tomorrow! he was practically standing up while i'm cowering in a corner! sobsob... everyone ignored me when i approached them. i get rejected and was really depressed i hid in a corner to CRY! and everyone saw that i cried but GOSSIPED AND WHISPERED infront of me! i must have had a sin. to dream of such a thing. goodness.

i miss my friends. i miss my primary school friends, i miss my secondary school friends, i miss my HSBC work friends, i miss my "i donno from where" friends. i'm feeling so bored and useless today i almost cried in BOREDOM. haha! and i slept a hell lot. i think my auntie agony's coming. no wonder i'm sleeping so much and getting emo for no reason. great. the weather's not of any help. wanted to wake up early to exercise or make sushi but i was so depressed and lazy everything got cancelled.

imagine one day when you really wanted to go out but there's no one you can think of who'll agree to go on a date with you without second thoughts. i was thinking of that today. and, i still can't think of a person.

2009-06-13T22:55:00.005+08:00

it's been some time since i last updated..have been rotting and rotting everywhere..haha! of course, i went out to spend moneyy..spending MORE AND MORE moneyy..sobsobsobs.. haha!=)

went out with dilys that day. ended up spending 70bucks on pimple cream..GOODNESS! hahaha! of course, half of it was for dilys, to make up for the stoopid and dumb act i made. hehe! it was great fun and gossip with laughters and all. going to far east to shop around WHEN ALL WE DO IS WALK AND TALK AND EAT AND DRINK...-.- might as well sit down and rot and eat and drink right? weird.. she better get me something from europe, since i bought her sth FROM US...hahaha! =)

and i so hate taking photos with her cos it makes me look fat. -.- damnit

i know the weather's been VERY WARM AND HOT these days, but my crazy dad suggested going to the beach. being bored as usual, of course i tagged along since it'll make the kids go crazily happie..hahha! =)

i admit it was great fun, although all i did was sit near the waters and play w the two very scared kids..hahah! =)

and being the very artsy-fartsy person, me and pris went to the museum!!! hahaha! admist the very boring statues and china stuff we see, we still managed to make some fun outta it and took quite a number of pictures..haha!

she's very funnie, and has the weirdest comments towards issue one can ever imagine. but she's kinda my best friend for 9 years. though we started out as "enemy" i know she hate me secretly when she first know me, we've been best buddies since sec 3. we've been through happie and angry and sad times. okay, maybe no sad times, i think the most depressing time we're going through is our present very sad state, when both of us are kinda feeling useles.. hahaha! we're even bored of ROTTING..hahaha! so our fave hangout at raffles city (the very atas place, but we still managed to spend HOURS over there) next week AGAIN?? hahaha...

me and dumbdumb and everyone went clubbing at zouk.. hurhur! my 2nd time or perhaps the very first time we formerly went clubbing. but sadly, we didnt stay very long, left at around 1am cos dumbdumb has work the next day. hurhur! still it was great fun, and the sardine can squeezing was memorable man..haha! =)

found this pic, forgot wad we were celebrating but we were having steamboat at my place..WOOTS!! lotsa good food and everything! =) hahaha..

me and my bro's gf..=)

that's dumbdumb and me and my yeebii =)

i think i'm getting very fat. i've been rotting and eating at home i've gained weight. lotsa weight. and the very mind-boggling thing is that the weight is reflected on my once tiny face. yes, my face is getting LARGER day by day. =(

2009-06-06T00:43:00.004+08:00

one of the stupidest thing you can ever imagine someone doing is to PEEL OFF YOUR SKIN AND LET IT BLEED yourself.

and guess what? some stupid asshole did such a stupid action which caused her to limp her wayy to bugis today! HOW STUPID CAN I GET?

i was on e phone talking while on my bed and fidgeting with my feet..disgusting i know. but i was fidgeting!! haha..and so i saw this white patch of skin (dead skin) which exclaims "PEEL ME". so i had to honour it and PEEL it...but! my itchy hands didnt peel it slowly...i just pull it outta my damn toe and e nxt moment i FELT A SHARP PAIN INSTANTLY!!! next second i knew, my toe was dripping blood on my bed. OUCH.i almost peeled e skin off my whole toe...-.- and i see RAW SKIN...ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.......

this is what happens when one decides not to use her brain upon graduation.

2009-06-04T14:11:00.004+08:00

there's this weird thing about me. i haven been blogging since dinosaurs roamed our world. and i still come to my own blog and see if there's anything new everyday. sometimes even twice per day..SO WEIRD. -.- hahhahaa! so, i'm back from US for more than a wk...and basically my life has been uber uber uber duper boring... the only entertainment that makes me laugh out loud would be hannah montana..and the frequent random dates i went on which made me high for awhile. haha! esp that gossip session with priscilla..too bad we didnt take any pictures to mark our date! remind me to take pics hor!!! ahahaha!

and so, i rotted at home almost all e time, wasting my life away. haha! refusing to blog cos i dowan to show how useless i can get when i realised i have nothing to blog about. haha! well, here's some updates about the US trip which everyone kept bugging me about..haha!=)

the beautiful horse's head got cut off..haha! =) that's disney land..yayy!!

the kids look so princessy over there!! nxt time i'm so gonna bring my daughter to disney land to dress em up!!! hahahaha! =)

i realised we only managed to take pics with ONE BLOODY CARTOON CHARACTER - pluto..sad case..where's mickey and everyone!?!?!?!

grand canyon and hoover dam!! niceeee! =) and i'm sure dilys will take many pictures for ME in europe right..don bring too many dresses over..hurhurhur!

US is so cool!! and i havent got enough of it so i'm definitely going to go back there again!! lucky i'm a GREAT sleeper so i can easily slp up to 15hrs of the loooong plane ride..poor joan was suffering in the plane though =( the food's nice and ANA's not badd! though e nxt time maybe i might consider paying abit more to get the economy premium seats..haha! well, in e meantime, i really shld start saving up first...hurhurhur!

why does this post seem even more BORING den ever??? and i realised i haven been talking to joann on msn these days!! where is sheeeee...!?!??!? miss you!! hahaha! =) oh it's kbox on mondayy! yayy!! everyone's comingg!

2009-05-27T18:01:00.002+08:00

for the hundredth time, i'm not e 22 year old girl on board SQ25...long lost friends have been coming up to me asking if i just came back from new york and i find it really amusingg...hah!

yes, i did go to the United States. but i went to LA, Las Vegas, San Francisco only. note that there's NO NEW YORK!! so stop asking me. -.- cos it's getting on my nerves especially when I'M BLOODY QUARANTINED BY MY MOM. i passed the thermal thing at the airport. no one stopped me, no one quarantined me. i kinda self quarantined myself for 3/4 of the day and only intend to meet dumbdumb ltr on at night. BUT, i think my mom wants to lock me up to eat her dinner she screamed at me to stay home. so here i am, stuck home sitting in my pathetic chair loading hannah montana and staring at my computer screen with a HUGE PIMPLE urging its way out. thanks to the retribution of laughing at dilys ugly huge pimple (which i have not even seen how ugly it is), i felt a bump of red disgusting thing purging its way out on my chin.

sigh.

oh, did i mention i officially only have 2 tuition kids left? no more shawn at e moment and SADLY my other 2 tuition kids are having their self declared"break"...when their results are still bloody lousy. sometimes i wonder if it's me or it's them to be the cause of their poor results. the most comforting thing is at least one of them is showing improvements. but still, i feel sian when he's dooper happie with his passing results cos he says it's his best. -.- i almost felt like SMACKING him. maybe i shld disown everyone of them and get new assignments.

on second thoughts, i don think i can do that. cos i'm poor as of now.

i would like to emphasise that i'm really poor. and bored.

2009-05-08T13:13:00.003+08:00

i'm supposed to be going out like NOW...but my dear irritating fren joan is still cooped up at home..and i'm freaking irritated by e kids at home. yes i can be irritated by them. esp when e aircon in my room is not on and e small one starts SCREAMING at e top of his voice...it gets really frustrating and i'll have an headache. especially with my mom screaming TOGETHER with the babies..it gets MUCH WORSE...to the extent i feel like slapping all of them..hahah! yeah, i'm THAT saddist. sian.

i need a breather outside.

and pris, if you're reading this. ur msn got virus le..starts sending ppl weird links which i ALMOST clicked..change ur msn password..it'll solve the problem. =)

i'll still go out first..cos i can't stand e small one pestering me like a leech. more pictures will be up today!! with my bloody huge pimplee....HAHAHA!

2009-05-07T19:33:00.002+08:00

someone asked me this:

"i realised that you've been working almost all your holidays away...and you've been teaching tuitions after JC... you don come from a poor family and you're not financially tight. so why are you working so hard when you're supposed to be enjoying life?"

for a moment i was kinda stunned beyond words. that's true. i still take my allowance though i think it's very miserable. my bills were very kindly settled by my parents though sometimes i think i'm really too far by sms-ing and talking too much on e phone (or maybe it's cos i have a very lousy expensive plan)... my mom can cook delicious meals so i can stay home whole day and eat her sumptous food. so why am i still teaching 3 tuitions?

still, i replied her: "well, maybe i can't imagine myself rotting away at home..i'll be bored to death. and i get the thrill when the amt in my bank keeps increasing. it's the sense of satisfaction i get."

she said: "well, i think you're seriously weird."

2009-05-07T16:23:00.002+08:00

this is my part time boyfriend when my dumbdumb wasn't with me in penang...hahaha! =)

dexter looks as if he's floatingg...hahaha!=)

dilys this IS FOR YOU!!! =)

2009-05-07T15:28:00.003+08:00

THE EXAMS ARE OVER!! over over over over!!! lalalaa.... but yesterday was still madness.cos i had to teach e kids tuition due to their MYE... *tired* everyone's been pestering me about "are you still going to US???" with the -tell me you're cancelling your trip face-. hahaha! but i guess the 4 useless crap us will do nothing about e trip and therefore STILL PROCEED with it..haha! right right??? see i'm so damn smart..hurhurhur!

weird, i know i have alot to blog about..but somehow or rather my mind is really blank. i guess i'll just post many many pictures to make up for the absence of words. haha!

the trip to Kallang ICA to get our NEW passports!! oh i look so much prettier...hor dilys????

i think joan's shape of her face didnt change at all!! so cool!! her head doesnt GROW!!! muahahhahaha!

and den it was lunch time before we head home!! =0 how can we ever miss food rightt?? hahaha! we shld be termed as the makan clan instead of darlings clan..hahah!

after taking those photos, i walked outta e place and realised we're NOT SUPPOSED TO TAKE PHOTOS inside at all..and e reason for us taking those boliao photos is cos some asshole who's not in e picture below forgot to bring EVERYTHING that is needed to collect his passport..yes, he wasted a hell lot of our timee..hahaha!

in e midst of my exam, my very adorable and cute mommy forced me to go Penang w the family saying i'll be such a spoil sport if i don join in e family trip... so obviously she left me with no choice but to tag along e trip grumpily. and as expected i didnt study much during e trip.cos e bus rides we so sleep inducing and yah, i couldnt focus. hahah! though these are still excuses for me not to study for my exams...i'm still kinda glad i was away for a few days to take a breather...haha! keeps me thinking when i go on a holiday. haha!=)

i wasnt the one who loves to take photos...it's my dad who loves to take pictures of people..esp those BIG FACE BIG HEAD pictures which i definitely wun show to others..hahah!

last but not least, me & dumbdumb!! hehe! =) lalalalalala... all the best for your exams arh!! it's time for you to be stressed liaoo..hurhur!

2009-04-30T15:07:00.002+08:00

i admit i'm not someone easy to please. i admit i'm weird and eccentric and my wants are truly strange and changing every minute every second. personally, i have no idea what i want either. i've tried hard to please you as much as i can but i seem to do the wrong things at the wrong time.

kill me. i'm losing faith. -.-

2009-04-29T00:30:00.006+08:00

Monday was my paediatrics exam... like i mentioned previously, i have stoned at the notes for quite some time (days in fact) and obviously, some of the information have been entered into my small cute lil brain with very few folds. hahaha! the paper was relatively easy. but as per usual, psych papers would always leave me badly traumatised and depressed regardless of its degree of difficulty. with only 72 ppl in the module, i now worry that i might not score as WELL as them as in i did not really regurgitate out as much info as them... sian! so i had a bad headache after the exam and went st8 home without even giving tuition to the very irritating kid. Nonetheless, i was succumbed to the idea of dyeing my hair with joan @ my place after the exams even with my appalling headache. madness. hahahah!

as you would have guessed, joan's dyeing hair skills was very superb. to the extent that she can style a pattern on my head. with bright brown patches.. -.- luckily for me, it's not really obvious when my hair is dry... and shawn says that my hair colour now is very bright..shat. i bathe so many times a day, it's bound to be EVEN BRIGHTER... scarly too bright all the patches of bright colours emerge again.. haha!

sigh.. upon graduation, when can i ever dye hair with you anymore??? sob sobbb...=( summore you stay at the extreme opposite of my place..sian. hahaha!

i have a sin. i harbour thoughts of strangling my tutee cos he's very much unintelligent. okay, i'm not despising him. but he bloody hell FORGOT EVERY SINGLE normal addition and subtraction math that i taught him previously!!! sighhh... for a moment i thought i acheived something cos he was the only one who showed VAST improvement. now he's back to square 1 being the very retarded kinda student whom i really feel like slapping, punching, kicking, strangling, KILLING. yes, i screamed at him till his mom who's NEXT door could feel my anger. i was THAT angry and loud. =X

as appeared in the picture:

my question to him: What is Digestion?
His answer to me: It call when i eat something a few minete (minute) it will move to a intestine.

tell me i'm supposed to laugh and forget about teaching him. convince me i shld cool down and teach him PATIENTLY. indeed, i laughed when i saw his answer...and he said "correct what" when i laughed out dryly...

here's how i have sex education with him. he doesnt understand the menstrual cycle so i had to explain to him that women BLEED every month if they are not fertilised. he was astonished by that fact actually. i was -.- but i continued teaching him.

this picture was obviously drawn by me...and that triangle thing is the uterus of a female...HAHAHAHAHA! after teaching him e whole thing. i looked at the picture myself and laughed out loud... i couldn't believe i had actually drawn that... -.-

2009-04-26T22:48:00.003+08:00

i tried to summarise what i've been doing this past week. and i was very much amazed by my stoning and slacking and rotting skills. i realised i can stare at the notes and blanked out. literally staring at it with no mental activity going on in my puny brain. i attempted it today. relieved myself of the stress for tml's exam and tried starin at my notes. and my mom was amazed too. she tapped me (cos she's trying to iron while bitching about people beside me) and she said i looked like i'm in a trance.

mom: oei you sleeping arh? wah now you can slp with even your eyes OPENED! 0.0
me: no lah..that wasnt sleepingg..i was trying to memorise things...
mom: your face so blank you look like you sleeping loh! don think i dono...
me: how many times must i tell you i'm NOT SLEEPING...this is called STONING...
mom: den i think stoning = sleeping with your eyes open. 你厉害！叫你读一点书，你就一直睡觉。出去玩你不懂多happie...
me: idiot pig lah you...

so i guess i've mastered a skill this week. pray hard for my exam tomorrow...this is really my graduating semester...goodness! i'm gonna dye my hair soon!! yayyy!!

2009-04-25T09:00:00.002+08:00

i've been wanting to blog for days. but i realised i've been sleeping like a loghead. i love to sleep. my body's ONLY reaction to stress would be to sleep, and get emo and throw tantrums and nothing else. so basically, sleeping is a form of therapy for me. especially after i've created a huge scene when i went emotionally crazy. and the results for sleeping too much would be obviously the lack of mugging. i have ample time to study, but i've been sleeping those precious time away or slacking like nobody's business (LIKE NOW...). it's my last semester and yupp..last semester..woots. i hate hate hate triple hate studying for exams... especially when it involves ESSAY! -.-

so i shall summarise what i wanted to blog about on thursday:

thurs was a bad bad day. a day so bad the moment i woke up, i knew it would be a bad day instantaneously. so i woke up, thinking e gym session w sharon would be an uplifting one. and i decided i shall be lazy first by taking a bus over to cdans when it's just a 10mins walk since i have BUS CONCESSiON! and den, the worst thing that could happen to someone was to LEAVE MY BLOODY CONCESSION at home..-.- great. so i had to PAY for my bus trip. bleah. i got more agitated. with the hot and humid weather, who can stay sane under the sun?

i met up with sharon and our exercise regime began.. i got hold of a piece of devastating (to me) news. it doesn't affect me directly, just another gossip. but i still kinda got influenced by it. i mean, it's a happie news to someone, but a rather dreadful news to me which kinda reflect my stagnant and unmotivated self. but i continued running on the treadmill. all of a sudden, i felt something wrong under my feet. CRAP. the soles of my mom's shoes came off...argh! amidst the laughter and grumblings, the gym session continued on..

the study session was not bad, we found a great cold comfortable room. but bad things refused to leave me alone. the pen i PURPOSELY BROUGHT for the study session leaked. and my WHOLEEEE pencil case + my hands were full of ink stains. -.- -.- -.- -.- -.- -.- -.- my face turned to this. sickening. i had to waste time cleaning off the ink stains in my pencil case and my pens were stained as well...BLOODY HELL.

this study break was a very much unproductive one.

wake up and STOP sleeping.
i'll give a reward to whoever who can keep me awake when i'm studying. hahahaha!

2009-04-18T09:48:00.002+08:00

and oh, i forgot to post these 2 very IMPORTANT photos...hehe!

may darlings clan unite and never forget one another...muacksmuacks! =)

keep in contact alwaysss and i love you guys!! lalalaa..=)

and... never ever use e passport size photo taking machine in NUS... cos it kinda distorts your face. makes it hideously HUGE and fat. i'm sure this is something you guys all hate..hahah! i hate it too... and here's e product of it... 0.0

ewwww!!

2009-04-18T01:32:00.005+08:00

today's the LAST DAYY OF SCHOOL!! with the exception of the exam days which i can already predict myself dreading... sigh. 3 years of education in NUS. poof! no more! and it's me and e society... but of course, before that, i have my graduation trip to US to look forward to! was so excited over it until i read from e papers saying there's a travel fair going on... wth.

well well. school has come to an end. i miss climbing the stairs. now my exercise regime would totally come to a halt with me rotting at home. sigh. i miss e bazaars at forum. i miss eating the cheap Burger King and Subway and Macdonalds. and of course, i miss e very strongly air-conditioned library @ Arts... my fave escapade. where i would hide in there just to pass time and "blow" air-con. ohmy... i love that place. remember e times i spent mugging there with HUNDREDS of muggers beside me... remember e times we sat down at e entrance of the library, our self-termed "caterpillar"... remember e times we lamented how SMELLY that perk point was. remember e times we had to PHOTOSTAT our TEXTBOOKS in e smelly inky printing room (yes, i'm a poor student who can't afford psych textbooks so i have to stand there printing them in chapters)... remember remember remember. yes i WILL remember. i'll pull darlings clan to go library and take pictures... hundreds and thousands of pictures... cos that place, would be kinda e place i miss most in NUS. other den those fast food restaurants lah...omg. i'm such a glutton. goodness.

i miss seeing familiar faces on my wayyy home or to classes along e walkways... i miss e MOST HOT AND STUFFY LIFT I'VE EVER TAKEN at e forum... hMm..yeah, though i don relish much memories of my school, it is STILL a very prestigious school and i'm really glad i managed to enter. of course, the memories i would never forget would be my darlings clan.. sighhh...

i think i better stop now, since i'm not officially graduated YET. i still have exams. dreadful exams..sigh! =(

and here's what has been happening to me! =)

marche dinner!!!

we attempted to be atas and tried oyster. that guy from e oyster section chatted with me and decided i should have a HUGE oyster outta his basket... i was 0.0 but still remained calm and nodded my head smiling at him...-.-

but yeah, we decided we're not the ATAS kind and swore never ever to have another RAW oyster in future..hahaha! more pictures!!

and den there's e last day of school, where me, sunny, joan, charlie, shuxuan went out after my 2 hrs of school to marina!! =) and it was sakae sushi for lunch!! whhooppieeeesss!!

at first, there's this whole haysack of shredded cucumber as garnish for e sushi dish on e table. so e itchy mouth me decided to challenge joan chen.

me: eh, you eat this whole pile of veggie... i sponsor your lunch!!

joan: sureee~~~... (and she started stacking them and putting them INTO HER MOUTH!!!)

me: PURE SHOCK. 0.0 0.0 0.0 0.0 0.0 to the extent i forgot to take down e process of a cow eating a stack of greeny hay...

since i'm gonna be broke soon, i offered to be challenged by eating up 2 sushi of those huge king fish eggs... i know some of you think that king fish egg is very delicious. to me, they're just slimy eggs which spurts out juice in my mouth when i bite into them. so they're purely disgusting to me. but to save up for my trip. i have to force 2 sushi down my throat. imagine how many king fish i killed... -.-

that clown as usual was up to her antics..haha!

she's so amazed at those eggs..hahaha!!

look at our disgusted face..haha! ohya, joan's 2nd challenge was to eat a whole pile of avocado...disgusting.

and den there was atypical poster presentation..hahaha! =) our project! nice and creative isnt it??

2009-04-16T09:13:00.000+08:00

small things that you remember about a person,
the little imperfections about them that makes them perfect for you

i'm sure you've seen this on e TV...touching yet sad isnt it?

was supposed to post this up some days back but there's some error or sth.. =( hehe! sch's coming to an end, with today and tml being e last day of school. i'm not sure if i'm supposed to be celebrating or mourning over it but yeah, it's kinda scary to be heading out into e society at this point of time. well, perhaps i'll just take a step at a time and see how things go along for me!

2009-04-13T13:00:00.000+08:00

I can’t believe I actually stayed in the comp lab at AS7 for 3 freaking hours..goodness.i’m such a saint and goody girl..cos I’m trying to EARN MORE MONEYY by doing my dad’s translation chop chop so I can get the $$$... and if you’ve met up with me somehow or rather, you would hear me rambling about my TRIP TO THE US!!!! Yes yes, I’m going to the US on the 14th May and it’s so freaking confirmed!!! Sharon and me are so excited cos she’s leaving on the 11th may as well!! The only sad thing is that it’s going to wipe out my bank account if I continue to lead a stagnant life!! So if anyone has any deals for earning some quick moolahs, lemme know!! This is soooo exciting!! I’m going for 13 days just in time to celebrate dumbdumb’s bdayy!! (he must be cursing right now cos I’m leaving when he needs me e most. Sorry dumbdumb, for leaving you alone when you’re mugging hard for your 2 exams.) I’ll buy more FCUK, DKNY, Levis stuff for you? Hurhurhur..=) and he’s been soooo sweet to sponsor my trip!!! My next target shall o’daddy..shh!! don tell him I planned this out..=X

Alright, I have some photos to post but I’m not using my lappie..so I guess that’ll have to wait till e next donno-when post..hehe!

2009-04-06T09:52:00.002+08:00

i think i have some kinda somatoform disorder.

after the sumptuous dinner last night. i suspect that very very delicious and smooth fish has its bone stuck in my throat. and apparently EVERYONE ignored my complaints of the stuck fish bone and dumbdumb even suggested that perhaps there's a stapler bullet stuck in there too... -.-

i wake up thinking of the HY paper AND my fish bone... goodness.

2009-04-05T00:54:00.003+08:00

i'm actually in a rather depressive mood..i'm getting hysterical over minor things and my victim was sharon. she totally appeared at the wrong time and have to entertain my laments and cries for quite some time...

THANK YOU so much!!!

i think i know why i'm going mad..cos i've stopped shopping online...maybe i shld start shoppin online and have things delivered to me via post almost every wk..i love receiving stuff from the mail...hahahaha! den maybe i'll be NORMAL again...maybe i shld start clearing out my wardrobe first...it's spilling..but i cant seem to find a decent piece of clothe to wear...

the time of the month is still not here yet, and i'm emo-ing alr...-.-

i feel so suffocated with all these things... i need a life.

2009-04-05T00:12:00.003+08:00

like i mentioned previously...although it's a real tiring week, darlingsclan still managed to have some fun tgt amidst the piling loads of shit..-.- hahaa! kbox session - a very good form of stress relief...lalalaa...=) and we sang till many of us went voiceless..hah!

photographer: choo chorliang! the one missing in the pic...haha!! =)

as usual, the spastic joan went crazy with her antics again..haha! singing in such a ulu place caused us to smell HORRIBLE STINKY shit in the toilet... how i dread going to the smelly toilet even though i have no choice but to pinch my nose and go in cos of my bursting bladder...haha!

that's ivan!! he can't be toilet trained at all!! and without his pampers!! this is what he'll do around the house!! OMG!!!!

oh, and these are some pictures taken with my family... =) spastic but fun...lalalalaa...

and i finally found a rare picture taken with dumbdumb cos we haven been taking pictures at all!! =(

lookin at those mascular (no, fatty) arms, i think i've gained enough weight to scare ppl off with my wrestling skills...i'm so freaking screwed..esp when sharon is GOING OVERSEAS LEAVING ME TO FEND FOR MYSELF!!! how can i ever ever ever get motivated to start exercisingg....=(

and that's a pic of me!!! lalalalaa....

2009-04-03T19:55:00.002+08:00

i feel so tired..so lethargic. it's been a hectic week and finally, it's over.

but the crazy days are not over yet. my 2000 words essay is due nxt nxt monday. very scary. it's as scary as writing almost 3 HY response papers. THAT scary. yes. the thought of it makes me shiver... i almost fainted today..thanx to joan's dad, i was home in the comfort of aircon! wheee..=) but the moment i came out, the wave of heat makes me dizzy. i swore i almost ran my way home. only to be stopped by my long lost junior who stopped me to chat. i almost cursed. but still smiled and acted lively.hahaha! =) it was worth it, stopping to chat with him cos memories flowed back the moment we talked..

but i regretted it the moment i continued walking home..cos i felt dizzy and feverish. i wore i'll faint if anyone stopped me again. hahaha! =)

i wanted to post more pictures..but i'm really tired. yawns..

2009-03-29T23:14:00.001+08:00

i went running and just came back...

yes, i went running literally! exercise is good..

i ran with all my might...

i ran and ran and ran...

i feel myself shedding lotsa fats...

i rann all the wayyy

just to get to macdonalds to get my supper...woots! =)

at least i'm taking my first step to my exercise regime.

2009-03-22T18:50:00.006+08:00

i'm back from malaysia! (my cousin's wedding) and guess what? I TOOK ABSOLUTELY NO PICTURES...of my cousins whoever..cos no one wanna take pics with me..but i got myself a beer belly (which is damn freaking huge) cos my uncle forced beer upon me by playing scissors-paper-stone..and us the 3 children kept playing 猜拳 to keep ourselves entertained throughout the dinner cos we sat with the wrong ppl (people we're not close with) for the dinner...sians. and guess what.the wedding dinner was held in a SCHOOL HALL!!!! omgomg!! how exciting right...i was like imagining myself having my own wedding dinner in Nanhua SCHOOL HALL with Mr Loh Leong Beng (my former principle - omg i so remember his name) and having Mr Pandian be my witness of the weddingg..MUAHAHAHAHAa! that must be damn hilariouss....and and..they have a KAROAKE session during the wedding dinner lah!! like howwwwwwww funnie!! i think i better not have that on my wedding..cos joan chen will CONFIRM be racing up the stage trying to snatch the damn bloody mic..muahahahhaa!!! i can so imagine the scene mann..goodness!

so i've been missing for quite awhile..school's been driving me crazyy...workload's piling like nobody's business..i almost went madd (as in crazy mad) hurhurhur..but nonetheless, the only minimal fun i had can be seen hereeeee!!!!

YUPP!! PICTURES!!! yayyyy~~~~

it was friday the 13th! aka WILFRED ANG'S bdayyy party...we (darlings clan) went along as welll ~~~ in hope of trying to spy joan with her OTHER darlings..woohoohoo..

but before that, we idle around vivo and resorted to our fave activity: trying out of ugly hilarious clothes..muahahaha! and our very willing victim was joan (as per usual!!)

i really think she looked quite nice in this..maybe one day when i am damn rich and 60 over bucks sounds like 6 bucks to me, i'll definitely get that for her! DEFINITELY...movie star mannn..and i got myself that yellow top from F21..hahaha!!

so after the shopping session and a very horrible movie of the WATCHMEN (never ever ever watch it) showing some blueman with a very obvious ugly (to me) dick dangling around wherever he goes (come to think of it, of cos it'll dangle WHEREVER he goes, damnit)...it was horrible..the seat was horrible though it's vivo and the movie was...*vomits*

and so we headed down to TIMBRE!!!! lalalalaa....=)

happie birthdayy to the handsome and HOT wilfredd...woohooo!! =)

kinda lazy to edit MORE pictures but you can easily find them on facebook..it's ALL OVER fb like the minute we got home in the wee hours of the morning... that wilfred is REALLy enthu sia..hahaa! but all in all, it was a very very funnnn night!! ~~

and wayy before that, we had our darlings clan early morning breakfast dimsum at excelsior hotel..=) it was our first ever formal breakfast!! hehee..=0 so cool..we should find some time to go for buffets again! lalalaa...~~

and we shopped around marina after the breakfast where sunny bought his new shoes and we bought wilfred's pressie at NUM!!! goodness, i even remembered the details...coooll! =)

guess whose pretty legs are those?!?!

pretty ladies of course! hurhurhurhur...

and me and stoopid shit and fenmei went to bugis for a gathering session! haha! i doubt that idiot peijun will read my blog lah...hahaa! =)

and and, my family celebrated my BIRTHDAYYY with me at some restaurant (i forgot wad name)... imagine how long this is..hurhurhur! oh, and that duck..it's lying on my bed for me to stick my phone in when i slp so my phone wun go missing when i slp..hehe!

oOo..dumbdumb and i shopped around orchard before the dinner! =)

and i just realised we didnt take a whole family picture at the restaurantt...-.-

here's something you've been waiting for...=)

nice isn't it? hurhurhur!

2009-03-21T17:11:00.000+08:00

genes and soc mid sem test was a horrible and crazy disaster. to think that i was starting to be interested in bio while studying for it... the test was simply..*shakes head* goodness. i almost wanna cry when i was doing the paper...EVEN THOUGH IT WAS JUST AN MCQ TEST!!!! imagine how bad it is...

and here i am... in an oven in malaysia refusing to move an inch cos i've found myself a comfortable spot...hurhurhur. attending a wedding later. hope can take MORE PICTURES!! cos i realised ppl over here don like taking pictures...=( and...i feel fat. i'm so sure everyone is gonna ask why i'm gaining weight again though they just saw me during the new year and e nxt qns will be when i'm getting married... -.-

it's getting HOT in here!!!!

2009-03-16T23:59:00.002+08:00

i feel lost. apprehensive. fearful, anxious. lost.

didn't know what to do. didn't know how to react. didnt know how i should react.

i've been starin at this space for 5 minutes and i really have no idea how to even continue blogging. that's how lost i am. -.-

i shall go sleep to soothe my headache.

2009-03-15T14:38:00.002+08:00

i'm bored..and bothered over stuff...so i came online and saw this on yeanling's blog..and decided i need some ME-TIME (stolen from dil and sharon) to evaluate myself...

didnt expect myself to be amazed by the results..though my eyes widened up the moment i read on.. kinda hit a chord in me..but. yeah. still felt kinda lost though..

here it is... to those who still doesnt know me THAT much...hahahaa!=)

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

---> i am sooo bloody intelligent!! hahaha..and sweet!!! and honest cos i gossip right in ppl's face! the thing about the conflict thing is i actually kinda like it cos i like to watch "shows"...hahaha! alright, i'm getting very evil once again...-.-

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

---> this shows that i am not SUPERFICIAL!!! muahahahaha! unlike my frens frm darlingsclan..a bunch of superficial ppl...muahahhaahah!

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

---> yeah, i haf lots and lots of dream jobs..and like what i told shawn..they're just DREAM jobs..and yeah, i'm so fickle-minded i don stay focused...omg!! so scaryyy...joan, i think u got a competitor for the worm-in-my-stomach thingg..

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

---> OMGG!!!!! joan is so losinggg over here...

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

---> ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tell me i'm not self-conscious!!!

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

---> i'm starting to believe i'm mature... i thot i was the childish one all along...

2009-03-11T01:49:00.002+08:00

although it's the even week, i still feel the stress and urgency of stuff..

yes, i'm hell busy these few weeks. and i'm kinda giving up for my goal. maybe i shld just sit back and relax.. -.-

like shawn said: why so serious??

i have lots to blog..pictures whatsoever..BUT...i'm wayy too lazy and busy and tired to blog. haha! =)

2009-03-06T02:40:00.002+08:00

for the first time in dono how long since my blog was set up. my OWN BROTHER actually tagged. very cool. and he tagged sth which made me -.- idiot.

i've been sleeping at unearthly hours for 3 nights... i look screwed up. shawn says i would keep repeating the things i said twice or thrice. signs of lethargic-ness in me. okay. i don even sound coherent here... kinda regretted taking the HY module.. taking up wayyyy too much of my time. =X

okay i'm bloody tired. i shld go to slp. this week is kinda the busiest week i ever had. yawns.

goodnights.

i love rainy days.
i hate rainy nights when i have to sit and do my work instead of snuggling up my bed to sleep.